"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Epilogue

It felt like ages but it's just months since the wedding. After that night, I refused to come to the church just to avoid seeing him. Seeing even just the slightest strand of his hair, or smelling his scent would make me go on knees begging him to choose me, to love, and to be with me. If only things could've been different.

Maybe it was hard for him but I think he made the right decision. I'll always care about him as long as there's love left in my heart for him.

I tried distracting myself but I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I couldn't shake the feeling of loss and emptiness. And along with these feelings is the guilt. I know I shouldn't but I have to repent. I need to confess my sins to Him in order to ease this guilt that I've been feeling.

I opted to return to church. I felt anxious about going back, but not quite as much as I was when I stepped inside the confessional booth. It had been a while since I was here and that wasn't a really good memory since God has seen what we did inside.

I knelt down, crossed myself, and began...

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been ages since my last confession." There was a priest but he didn't answer me so I thought I should go on with my confession to ease the burden of my conscience.

"I...I have been having impure thoughts about someone. I have been thinking about him and I slept with him. I slept with a priest." I whispered the last sentence but I couldn't hide the trembling of my voice. I never shared such thoughts with anyone before.

The priest still had no response but I heard him take a deep breath. I can't blame him for judging me because I slept with his co-priest. I'm not so proud of it either, Father. That is why I'm here. Feeling things prove to me I'm still human.

"We all have thought that we struggle with..." I froze. This soft and calming voice belongs to someone I knew. Someone I've shared my struggles with. Someone I loved.

"What's important is that we recognize them as sinful and ask for forgiveness." Hearing him made me let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding for too long. I didn't speak, neither did he. We both hold long for the silence. I wasn't ready to go out of the confession booth. I just want to seize the moment, our last moment.

"I've been offered a transfer to another parish." he paused for a moment.

"A larger, more diverse community, with different challenges but a new opportunity for me." he continued. I still did not respond. How can I, when all I can think of is his face, his voice, his kiss, and his touch? I looked at the screen of the booth. All I could see was the love and admiration in his eyes.

"Goodbye, Father." Saying that somehow made me feel a sense of relief that washed over me. I slowly stood up and before I left the booth...

"I love you, too, Calliope." He confessed. By hearing him say that, I felt lighter and more at peace. I walked out of the confessional and never looked back. Love is indeed awful, painful, and frightening.