"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Chapter 10 - Hey.

I haven't seen Father Moia in a week. You know that feeling when you wake up every morning, you wish to see his name on your phone again? To read his messages, to talk to him on the phone, and all sorts of things he does when I'm around. I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness inside me. I think I miss him more and more each day. Yes, that's what I've been feeling a lot these past few days. The longing in my heart grew stronger. I wanted to do something that would distract my thoughts away from him. But even if I do everything I can to forget about him, I can't deny the fact that the only person I wanted to see in the world is the priest that I missed so much.

The vibration of my phone broke my longing for him. My heart is pounding with anticipation as I reach it.

Hey.

My hands trembled as I read the word. Who would have thought that a simple "hey" could turn all the blues away? A smile slowly spread across my face. I couldn't believe it. I felt the rush of excitement and relief, like a burst of fireworks exploding in my chest. It was as if the universe had whispered a secret that was only meant for me to hear. My heart skipped a beat in response the moment I read his message again.

I sat on the couch for a moment to savor the thrill of this unexpected message, hoping this moment would stay forever with me. Missing him is not a crime but I wish ignoring his message was. My phone buzzed again and I immediately checked what was in the message.

Can you come to this address? 492 Central Avenue NP

Reading this message feels like a rollercoaster ride. There is a mix of adrenaline and uncertainty. My beats faster and faster. With every tap on the screen, my anxiety grew. I was exhilarated by the possibility of what is to come, but at the same time, I am trembling with the fear of the unknown.

Waiting for the sun to set feels like an eternity. All I could think is the feeling of being in his arms once the night fell. I have been planning how to leave the house without my mom being suspicious and asking a few questions.

When the sun began to set, I started preparing. As the sky began to darken, I could feel my excitement growing. I looked up at the sky and the stars started to appear. I hailed a cab and gave the address to the driver. After a few turns, we arrived at an apartment.

As I approached the apartment, I hesitated for a minute before mustering up the courage to knock on the door. The sound of it echoed, reverberating off the walls. I waited patiently for someone to open the door, feeling a sense of apprehension growing inside me.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard shuffling coming from inside the apartment. The door creaked open slowly, revealing the guy who was wearing black clerical clothing.

"I didn't know you were coming." There's a hint of surprise and hope on his face. Clearly, he didn't expect me to come since I refused to respond to his message. I want him to think that I didn't care about him but the truth is I wanted to see him so badly. I was just deeply hurt by what he did.

"Can I come in?" I was bold enough to ask him. Please let me in.

"Of course, Cal. Please, come on in." He turned to the side and gave me a way to come in. The interior of this apartment is nice. It's simple yet there's a touch of elegance. It's sophisticated.

"Thank you for coming here. I really wanted to see you."

"After what you did at the parish, you wanted to see me? You're toying with me, Father." Now I'm pissed. After pushing me away, forbidding me to go to the church so he can't see me, he'll tell me now that he badly wanted to see me. This is bullshit.

"I'm not playing with you, Calliope. I wanted to apologize for that night. I was scared, confused, and ashamed. I tried pushing you away but I still want you." I took my gaze off him and looked around. I noticed the bottles of beer on the floor.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Yes. But right now, I'm not drunk. I wanna keep a clear head just in case you'd come. And here you are." He spread his arm motioning me to take a seat on the couch.

"I changed my mind, Cal. You're always in my head. I can't seem to focus on everything because I want you to be with me." Upon staring at his face, he somehow looks frustrated. There were a bit dark circles under his eyes. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep well at night thinking about what could've happened between us.

"I sacrificed a lot for this life. You know? I've given a lot of things up. Um, so, uh..." He paused for a bit. I don't know where this is going but he's about to tear up. He stared at me intently. He looks nervous and scared. Well, so am I, Father. I'm afraid of what may come.

"I can't be physical with you..."

"We can't even wrestle?" I tried joking to lessen the awkward atmosphere going on here. But instead of laughing, he just tilted his head a bit looking upset from my perspective.

"I'm sorry. You're not a saint, Father. A lot of priests are worse than you, you know?"

"I can't be physical with you because if I do, I'll fall in love with you. And if I fall in love with you, my whole life will be fucked." So, what are you trying to say? Did you make me come here to tell me that the "us" I was hoping isn't happening? Call me selfish and evil but I don't care if you're life will be fucked because if that's going to happen. Then mine will be fucked, too.

"I'm supposed to love one thing..." he said while pointing his finger above.

"What am I doing here, then?"

"I think you know exactly what you are doing here. I don't think you wanna be told what to do, Cal." Silenced enveloped us. He slowly walked towards my side and caressed my face. He reached out some of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. The tension between us grew stronger as he bent his head down a bit. His gaze is making me dizzy. He's stroking my hair gently while peering intently at my lips. It was as if he was inviting me to taste him, to devour him.

"What do you want to do, Calliope?"