"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Chapter 7 - "Kneel."

Content warning: This chapter may contain situations (such as domestic abuse, sexual content, trauma stressor, etc.) that are inappropriate, may cause emotional discomfort, and are not suitable for readers under the age of 18. Readers are advised to keep an open mind. Some of these scenes might challenge any religious beliefs.

When I woke up, I went out to the kitchen and looked for some food. As usual, there is no one here except me. I don't have a class today so I decided to go to Grammy's house and visit her. I never went back to the attorney's office because I'm not comfortable with it. After eating, I took a bath and left my mom's house. Aunt Lily's house is only a walking distance from my mom's. I walked there to visit Grammy and see if she was okay.

Grammy was very happy to see me. She even cried a bit because she thought I lost some weight—Which I think is not true. Aunt Lily prepared a snack for me. We talked while eating the snacks. Grammy can't even stop telling her stories. When she got tired. I helped my aunt to take Grammy to the room where she is staying.

"You should take some rest, Grams. I'll visit you tomorrow, okay?" she nodded her head and I waited in her room for her to fall asleep before I leave. While waiting, I turned on my phone and check my inbox. I thought I didn't miss any important messages but then there's one that popped out. Father Moia replied to me last night.

I'm sorry, too. Can you come here to my office?

For a moment, I wanted to jump around like a little girl who just got her first doll. The first thing that comes up to my mind is to respond to his message. I don't want to upset him again.

I'm free today, Father. I can come by later at 5:00.

I don't have any plans today. Instead of staying in the house which I really don't like, I might as well go to church. I think my mom would be okay with this. She doesn't care anyway where I'm going.

When Grammy fell asleep, I stood up slowly and went outside to see my aunt. When I approached her, she was tending to her plants.

"Hi."

"Hey, sweetie. How are you?" She stopped tendering her plants and we sat down on her porch.

"I'm good. Is Grammy really doing fine?" I'm worried about her health. I don't know if she's really okay staying here knowing that she loves her home so much that she doesn't want to leave it even for a single day.

"I think she's coping. Don't worry about Grammy. I'm taking good care of her." She assured me.

"I know you are. I'm just worried that she might be faking that she's okay so you could let her go back to her house."

"I'll make sure she's not, okay? Now, answer me if you are really okay or not." I was trying to avoid that question but I guess I can't escape now.

"Really, I'm fine. Don't worry." I'm not. I wanted to be but I can't.

"Have you talked to your dad?" Oh, didn't see that coming. Now I really need to get out of this conversation. I starting to hate this.

"Nope." My phone vibrated and immediately checked it. The message was from Father Moia. I am celebrating now in my head because I can now have the excuse to end this conversation.

I'll be waiting here. See you.

I can't also wait to see you, Father.

"Hmm, Aunt Lily? I think I should go. I need to go somewhere, it's urgent." Please believe me.

"Okay, sweetie. Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks."

When I returned home, nobody was there. I went straight to my room to get ready. I texted my mom that I need to go to church so that she won't be wondering if ever I'm not in the house again. After that, I hailed a cab to get to his office.

I had to ask the person at the church desk where Father Moia is because we are not allowed to go to their office without an appointment. I remembered that this girl over here is named Pam. Pam told me that Father is in his office and she accompanied me inside.

"Pam, I appreciate you coming with her." He was sitting on a swivel chair while wearing his eyeglass. He is holding a paper so I think he's reading a gospel or a report. He still exudes the same air that he had when we first met in the café, albeit I can't tell if he is still upset or not.

"I'm really sorry about not responding to your message, Father." I didn't wait for him to speak, though. I apologize right away because I tend to believe he is mad.

"I am not. I was just expecting that you would be interested in hearing from me. That is all." Unbelievable. He really thinks that I would believe him. We shouldn't be even having this kind of conversation because this is wrong. I don't understand why he is acting like this.

"Okay, then. What do you want to talk about, Father?" I gave an emphasis to the word Father because I'm starting to get annoyed with his cold treatment. He didn't even offer me a seat. Instead, he stood up and walked out of the room. Of course, I followed him. What will I do in his office alone, anyway? We entered the parish as he walked with his hand on his back.

"What am I doing here exactly?" I can't contain my annoyance anymore. This is not fair to me.

"Walking? Following me?" He replied sarcastically. This is just great. I'm only wasting my time and energy here.

"Are you kidding me right now? With all due respect, Father, are you mad at me or something?" He didn't bother answering me. He continued walking and entered the confessional. I entered the side of the room and waited for him to speak.

"Talk." I don't what he means by that. I am really confused and mad right now.

"I don't understand what I'm doing right now. I don't get you. And I don't know what we are doing. I don't what to do." I don't care if me, raising my voice will offend him. I really don't understand what I'm going to do. There's a lot going on in my head, and I don't need this issue to add to the list for me to think of.

"Father, tell me what to do." My rage causes me to want to cry. I can't handle these feelings I don't even understand.

"Kneel."

"W-What?" I was taken aback by what he said. Am I going to do a confession right now? Does he want me to confess my sins?

"I said, kneel." He is dead serious. I can hear the intensity in his tone even though I can't see him. And he's not playing around. He wanted me to kneel so I kneel down. Now what? I waited for him to tell me what to do next for a minute, but he didn't.

The room's curtain swung open unexpectedly. Then Father Moia appears in front of me. I found myself taken surprised as he leaned in his head and brushed his lips against mine. His palm touched the back of my neck while caressing it gently. My heart is about to beat out of my chest as I close my eyes and heaved a heavy breath. He tilted my head after his deep breath out and deepened the kiss. He gently bit my lip to open it and I could feel our shared breath. His tongue pressed between my parted lips while slowly lifting me up.

I don't know how to respond to this but I am letting myself feel these soft little tickles of his breath on my nose as we breathed each other in. With one hand, he runs his fingers through my hair and gently guides my face closer to his. His other arm wraps around me and carried me out of the confessional to one of the benches. His kiss was intense but full of tenderness. He pulled me close to him and slowly move his hand inside my dress.

"F-Father..."

We were losing ourselves in the moment when suddenly an altarpiece fell causing a loud thud inside the parish. We were both gasping for air as we broke our kiss. I fixed myself while resting his head on top of mine. What we did was wrong and Jesus finds a way to stop us from making a mistake.

I kept my head down, and neither of us said anything. He lifted my head and stared directly into my eyes. He didn't say a word. Instead, he kissed my forehead and began walking away, leaving me stunned and astonished by what just happened.