His Broken Luna

Chapter Three: Closer

I never called Ansel. Even though a very small part of me wanted to, a part that I wasn't really willing to acknowledge just yet. I never called him. Not on my first night, nor my second. Not even my third when I heard something tearing into my garbage can out back. Instead, I went out to investigate, and spotted a lonesome black bear rooting through the trash it had scattered on the ground. 

The beast in me growled, low and unnaturally guttural, before I had a chance to stop it, and the bear whined as it retreated back into the woods. 

I could feel myself losing a little more control each night, just as I always did during the week leading up to a full moon. I was on edge, my senses heightened and body aching with the ghosts of my impending shift. I had nightmares of the pain, of waking up in the woods covered in blood. Grayson's blood...and the blood of the man that killed him. 

It had been two years since I first turned into a wolf. One year since I lost Grayson, and neither of those things got easier to accept. 

I was a monster. 

It was my fault my husband was dead. 

If I hadn't been turned...if I had just died instead of just getting turned into a wolf--

My phone clanged in my back pocket, making me jump with a gasp. Scrambling to pull the device out, I saw my mom's picture flash across the screen, and sighed before answering. 

"Hey, Mom."

"Hey, baby. How are you?" She chirped, her voice warm.

And too loud to my too sensitive ears. 

I put her on speakerphone, then sat down on the steps that led up to my backdoor with a sigh. "I'm okay."

I could hear her quiet intake of air on the other end before she spoke. "You don't sound fine to me. Are you sure you're okay, sweetheart?"

I didn't reply. Instead, I turned my head, a feeble attempt to hide tears she couldn't see. Before I was turned, my mom was my best friend. There was no subject too taboo, nothing too trivial to leave out, and there definitely weren't secrets between us. 

But now?

Now, I barely even talked to her. 

I couldn't. I was too scared of accidentally telling her the truth, my truth. I was terrified, not of her disbelief, but of her acceptance. Sure, it would suck if she thought I was crazy and tried to have me committed, especially if she'd done it during a full moon week. But if she'd accepted what I was? She would try to help me, protect me, just like Grayson had done. 

I couldn't risk causing something to happen to her, too. So, now I keep her and my dad at arm's length. It hurts, and it's lonely, but it's better this way. 

"Yeah, Mom, I'm great!" I finally force out, sniffling. "It's really beautiful here. There's nothing but trees and animals. I even saw a bear!"

"A bear?" She repeated, sounding alarmed. 

I chuckled through the tears at her worried tone, and said, "don't worry, it was just a black bear. He ran off pretty quick once he seen me."

She tsked on the other end, but let the subject go, then asked, "how are you sleeping? Did you try those melatonin gummies I gave you?"

I fibbed. "Yeah, they definitely helped. I sleep like a baby every night now."

Mom hesitated on the other end. She had to have known I was lying, but surprisingly, didn't call me out on it. Which was concerning. "Eleanor, sweetheart," she began, sending my heart into the pit of my stomach.