Happy Pride Month Oneshots

June Second: Hanahaki AU Pt. 1

A/N: So this is a Jegulus Hanahaki AU. I understand that Hanahaki isn't for everyone, but I love it. Just to be clear, I generally hate angst of almost any variety, but I decided that this one is going to be pretty angsty, and there won't be a happy ending, fair warning. Also: My initial plan was for the flowers to be roses and sunflowers but I got a book on flower language and decided to change sunflowers to jasmine. I know this A/N is getting long, but I would just like to acknowledge that since I watched people play Smash or Pass with crusty dead musicians instead of writing, y'all get this in two parts :).

Regulus looked up at the house. He had been standing at the front door for almost half an hour now, too anxious to knock. Since she had gotten married, Regulus had never shown up to see Pandora unannounced. Xenophilius had never liked him, and Regulus couldn't even recall seeing the inside of the house, though he supposed it was very round. He felt a cough rising in his throat, and quickly raised a hand to his mouth to cover it. When he pulled it away, he thanked Merlin it was only petals this time and not blood. Now or never, he thought, steeling his nerves and knocking on the door. Please be Panda please be Panda. None other than Xenophilius opened the door. Fuck my life.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Regulus tried to keep himself collected. "Is Pandora home?"

Xenophilius looked him up and down. "She's out back."

"Thank you. Have a good day." Regulus walked away.

As soon as he walked around the house, he broke out into a run to the garden out back where he knew Pandora would be. "Panda," he panted, "I'm fucked."

She looked up at him, taken slightly aback. "Is anyone dead?"

"No."

"Is anyone dying?"

"Potentially! I don't know what's going on! I woke up yesterday morning coughing up blood and fucking jasmine and I don't know why! And I haven't been able to get James bloody Potter out of my head all week and I feel so awful because it's just a silly crush and he's happy and- and-" he spluttered out, starting to have difficulty breathing in.

Pandora's eyes widened. "Oh, Reggie, come here." She opened her arms in an invitation for a hug, which he happily accepted. A part of him hated how open he was with Pandora, but another loved how free it made him feel to be able to break down. "I think I know what's wrong with you, but I don't think either of us are ready to hear it," she whispered.

Regulus pulled away slightly. "Tell me," he demanded. "Goddamnit, Pandora, I don't even care if I'm dying, I want to know why!"

Pandora still hesitated. "I think- and emphasis on the think part- that you have Hanahaki disease."

Regulus was confused. "What's Hanahaki?"

Pandora giggled a little, but it sounded forced and weird. Not at all like Pandora. "I would think that with how many books your family owns, you would have heard of it."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Not everyone is a healer, Panda. I never cared to know."

"Still, it may not be particularly common or well-known, but it's still fairly widespread knowledge. Hanahaki disease is a sickness caused by unrequited love. It causes flowers to sprout in your lungs, which will certainly suffocate you if left unchecked. Usually, it also causes you to cough up flowers, and about half of the reported cases show the infected individual thinking a lot about their love. Furthermore, not all cases were of truly unrequited love. There have been several where their feelings were mutual all along, but the affected party assumed their love was one-sided. If you don't end up having your feelings returned, you will almost certainly die. When I researched about it, I heard about a way to magically remove it, but since the disease is so rare, the ritual is lost to time."

Regulus felt sick(er than he had before). "So, essentially, either I convince a married man to love me or I die?"

"Well, when you put it that way," she muttered, bringing her fist to her mouth. They sat in silence for a little bit. "I mean, if you can manage to not die for a little while I can try and figure out how to heal you."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Great reassurance. I'll do my best. Love you Panda." He leaned over to hug her.

"Love you too, Reggie," she said into his shoulder, returning the hug. "Don't die on me, okay?"

"Ok."

~Time Skip brought to you by MUTUAL PINING~

James sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the sink. There was blood and rose bits everywhere, and his throat felt like shit. He'd already done his research, and he knew that unless he went and sought out Regulus, his days were numbered.

But what was he supposed to do? He was married and had a son, there was no way he was telling Lily he was fucking dying of suffocation and probably getting his insides torn up because of his best friend's little brother. His best friend's stupidly attractive and mean little brother. Goddamnit, why did he have to have a thing for mean people?

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "James? Are you okay? You've been in there a while." Speak of the devil, she shall appear.

"Uh- yeah, I'm fine. No need to come in. Go back to bed, love," he forced out. His voice was scratchy from the roses' thorns.

"That sounds like bullshit. I'm coming in." She started to push the door open.

"No, Lils-" he reached to stop the door but was too late, as Lily had already pushed it open and seen the bathroom.

"James, are you okay?" She exclaimed. "What happened."

James sighed, knowing he couldn't come up with a lie. The cat was out of the bag, and even if he tried to hide it, Lily would still find out. "It's Hanahaki, the unrequited love disease. You get it when you're in love with someone and they don't love you back. I happen to have been fucked over by Regulus Black."

"Sirius's little brother? He's single, isn't he? Go get him."

"What?"

"You heard me. Go get him."

James was at a loss. "You aren't upset that I love someone else? I mean, I'm married to you, I've been tearing myself up over it. You really don't care?"

Lily laughed a little. "James, of course I don't care. If you really care about someone, you can let them go. I'm not going to let you sit here and die because of me. So here's what we're gonna do. We're getting a divorce, and then I'm setting you up with Baby Black, okay?"

"I- okay. I really am sorry Lily."

"Don't apologize. I know that you still love me, but feelings change and I know that it's just a different type of love now. Come on, let's get cleaned up."