-Meanwhile back at Eddy and Loopy's home-
Mwa.. they had just pulled away from a tender kiss after having yet another round of intercourse.
"Are we STILL getting a divorce??" Eddy asked
"No, we're getting something off of ADAM AND EVE... DOOOOT COOOOM." Loopy opened her laptop.
"LOOOOOVE OF THE SUUUUNN..." Eddy began to sing.
(Little did Loopy know Eddy had secretly infused his semen with alcohol so she would act less prudish for the next few hours.)
"Crong Crong (Are they actually gonna do it?)" Crong said as he peered through the window with a comically large hard-on, which the hot nurses from the ambulance had covered in bandages.
Loopy and Eddy began making out again and they smashed their precious laptop onto the floor in the process. It might have broken but they bought it from a living spoon, it couldn't have been that good-quality.
They heard a small scream from what sounded like a sentient auto generated text audio coming from the laptop.
"What the fuck is that? Eddy, is this another one of your crackhead inventions?"
"My knees, my fucking knees." Texty cried out as the laptop died.
"Hey, that's not supposed to be here," Eddy said. "That's from a different show."
Loopy looked at Eddy in confusion.
"I knew that spoon was suspicious as soon as he pronounced 'carnitas' wrong," he added.
Loopy shoved her ass in his mouth to shut him up. Unfortunately alcohol gives her bad gas, especially when combined with semen. She sat on his face and shat in his mouth.
"Mmm... corny..." Eddy said like the disgusting, musty, crusty, dusty, rusty, untrusty, got no busty, acting sussy pervert he was, even though the diarrhea smelled like a skunk's rotting corpse soaked in boiled dog period and thrown into an ocean of asparagus piss and vomit. He nibbled the bits of corn and made lawn mower noises.
"Inside me right now I have the last - I don't know, a day and a half's worth of food in me? Say I took a laxative to flush all of that shit out of me, right? After that, say I drank nothing but water for the next 2 days, and I did nothing but eat sweet corn, but I didn't even chew it, I just swallowed it whole, right? Would I shit out, like, pure sweet corn that looked good enough- like, perfect sweet corn?"
"Oh yes!" Eddy moaned.
"Well, I did that." Loopy said as she shatted out more sweet corn. Eddy ate that shit up (literally) like his parents told him if he didn't eat any dinner he would have no dessert.
His childhood trauma caught up to him and he began crying as his head fell right inside Loopy's asshole. He liked to bury his head inside her asshole like an ostrich when he was feeling depressed.
Now let's talk about how Loopy can even handle this, to you, the reader, it sounds like this happens frequently, how can one's asshole even stretch that far. Well, always remember that a human's arse can stretch up to 8 inches in diameter much bigger than the human head, now if we think about how loopy in pororo is the size as a human (maybe) this would be easily possible, even though Eddy's head looks very long, its just tufts of fur and would easily slide in, especially when it's all lubed up with diarrhea and sweet corn like it is here. This was my science talk. Kinky. Thank you for joining me. Merry Christmas. Also, Gavin if you read this I hope your testicles get stabbed by a fucking narwhal. It's fucking May you idiot, keep in mind this story was made by two writers. We basically write conversations back and forth when we're not with each other in person. In total this section is 184 words of the entire chapter 2. That's almost 35% of what you've read so far, I'd say.
Also fuck you Gavin I will stomp on your balls when I get to school tomorrow. I hope Mr. Molnar makes your crippling dyslexic ass cry in English class.
After PedrosGroupie0247 was done threatening Gavin, and ShavingDrainHairMan was done crying in a corner, Loopy had an orgassm. (PedrosGroupie0247 your puns make me hate my fucking life -ShavingDrainHairMan)
(Well you're no pun! You make me wanna joke myself! -PedrosGroupie0247)
(Pucking pill pourself your not punny. -ShavingDrainHairMan)
(Shut up and help me finish the chapter. -PedrosGroupie0247)
(No. -ShavingDrainHairMan)
(OK fine, to end this long argument section here's a fun fact, I wrote about 99% of that science section. So whether I bored you, made you laugh, or traumatized you with that asshole fact, just know that was me, ShavingDrainHairMan.)
***MEANWHILE AT THE PLAYGROUND***
"Bluck bluck bluck, ba-bluck bluck blucka," Petty said.
"A-blucka bluh, blucka bluck bluck blucka," Pororo added.
"Bluck bluck bluck blu-blu-bluck. Blucka! Blucka blucka blucka blucka bluck-bluck."
Harry and Poby came out with messy feathers and fur claiming they got attacked, but we all know THAT didn't happen ;)
"Are you singing mucka blucka?" Poby asked.
"That's appropriating my culture, you assholes," Harry barked.
"You just appropriated dog culture," Poby commented.
"Shut the fuck up," Harry hissed at him.
"Now you're appropriating snake cu-"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Harry pecked Poby.
There was a brief moment of awkward silence.
"Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh, bowwwww, bluh mucka blucka!" Poby mocked while rubbing his pecked head.
Pororo and Petty were witnessing this entire thing while slowly, awkwardly fucking, mucking, and blucking.
"Penguin pussy, penguin pussy, Hey is someone mowing their lawn? No. Penguin pussy." Pororo said, talking to himself.
Petty put in her AirPod Pros and listened to Bon Jovi dubstep remixes. "Livin' On a Prayer" slapped even harder with a bass drop, Petty thought.
Pororo also had AirPort Pros in and was slapping Petty's cheeks to the beat of a robot dolphin song. He imagined he was railing Hudson Mohawke. "Mmmmm hudson mo-ussy," Pororo moaned. He loved the thought of pubes in the shape of a Mohawk.
An idea hatched in Pororo's dick (and in his mind). He was going to shave Petty's ass. Oh yes, he ate some gas station sushi he kept in his beak then suddenly uh oh! There was a roofie in his gas station sushi. He blacked out and woke up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What does he do? He's gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. He befriends the bear after he beats it in a brawl and rides it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, he's reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then he turns into a jet, flies into the sun, blacks out again, wakes up, does a bump, whites out, which he didn't even know you could do. Then he smoked a joint, greened out. Then he turned into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
God poured himself a tall glass of whiskey. It was going to be a loooong night. He turned on his soaps and was ready to kill himself, but he's omnipotent and stuff so he physically can't do that. He completely ignored the world burning behind him while the furries howled at the moon.
