Chapter 8 2.0: On a Bender

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“Yoooo” Pororo said as he picked up the phone.

“FUCK YOU DONOVAN!” Eddy screamed through the phone

“...Uhhh, what the hell?” Pororo mumbled, high, drunk, and confused as FUCK.

“Ah don’t worry about it… I may or may not have ties with the mafia,” Eddy muttered. “And now I have to kill you cause you know that now.”

Petty, not wanting to get involved in whatever the hell this was, backed off into a random corner to do some random gay stuff with a random chick.

Loopy, Cherry, and Red Guy began to overhear the bickering of Eddy and Pororo as it got louder and louder. Loopy, remembering the inevitable, curled up into a trembling ball.

“You ok girl?” Cherry whispered, trying to console her.

Loopy sniffled. “No matter what I do… Eddy’s going to find out. He always finds out… everything I do, everywhere I’m at… And whatever he doesn’t know, he assumes… I could’ve been a loyal, brainwashed bible-basher this whole time and I’d still get beaten the second he sees me at the door.”

Cherry outstretched her arms, but was careful not to touch Loopy unless Loopy touched her first. She did, and they had a long hug.

When they let go, Cherry said, “You know, I have a few extra rooms at my place… You can stay as long as you need to. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Loopy said softly. “A lot.”

“You could give me a hug for free.” Petty said, staring and Cherry’s massive honkers.

Loopy and Cherry both stared at petty.

“...”

“...”

“...Whatt???” Petty whines.

Cherry shakes her head and stands up. “Red baby, are you crashing at Andrea’s house tonight?” She tilted her head as red guy buckled his pants.

“Yeah. Probably.” He said softly.

Loopy blinks twice. “Wait wait wait wait wait what the FUCK? Aren't you two married?!?”

“No? Red babys just my main hoe.” Cherry says, ruffling his hair.

“..You.. You said you were married!” Loopy retaliates.

“Nu-uh!” Cherry whines.

“T-THE RING!! ON YOUR LEFT HAND!!” Loopy screams

The ring fades into thin air off her finger

“What ring?” Cherry questions.

Loopy rubs her eyes “OH WHAT THE FUCK!” As much as she had done that night, she could’ve SWORN she was still sober.

Suddenly, Loopys cell phone rings. She winces and peers at the screen. “Beloved….BENDER???” wait, who the fuck is bender????

*beep*

“HELPPP” a middle-aged man voice screams

“H-Hello?? What's the matter!!” Loopy asks, her trad wife side kicking in.

“The goddamn time machine malfunctioned! What year is this???” He asks.

“2067, why?” Loopy ponders.

“2067???? WHAT THE FUCK.” he shrieks

“Why, what year are you from??” loopy questions

“3010” he replies

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⏰ Last updated: May 27 ⏰

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