Love is blind - a Hogwarts Legacy fanfiction

Near the end

I was not sure if this was living, even after I was saved from death. I lost everything - my best friends, Ominis and I wasn't even sure if my magic was what it used to be. I had nothing, I wás nothing without them. Days went by in a haze as if I was sleepwalking. Hogwarts did not feel like a home anymore. I could not bear to be in the same room as Imelda or Ominis, but I had to. I did not receive an owl from Anne. Sebastian did not return to school.

'Miss Dijkstra?' I flinched my head up towards Professor Sharp, probably missing a question. I was taking my N.E.W.T. examinations, preparing my Veritaserum potion. But the words from my parchment did not make any sense and my hands felt like they were not even part of my own body. Had I been sleeping?

'You have an hour left, maybe you should start brewing.'

Bloody hell. I looked down at my cauldron. I did not even start putting anything in it yet. 'Sorry professor,' my voice cracked, as I did not speak to anyone lately. Just having imaginary conversations in my head. I heard how Sharp sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. 'You will not be able to finish even if you started now. Please pack your things and meet me after the examinations, miss Dijkstra.'

I was sure I had to feel something - shock, disappointment, disbelief, because he would not let me take the exam, but I felt nothing. I just did what I was asked and left the dungeon. Before I walked out, I did see a flicker of Ominis' gray eyes looking my way. Now I felt something - a burning desire to throw up. I fasted my pace and banged my hands hard against the heavy, wooden door to open it, the pain was distracting me from my feelings.

The hallways were empty as most examinations and classes were taking place. It was a relief when I sat down at the merfolk fountain a few stairs upwards, because I had kept walking without knowing where to go. I was relieved because I could just sit and stare for a moment without anyone annoyingly asking if I was okay.

The past couple of days people kept asking me that and all I wanted to do was scream in their faces. I was not okay. But I refused to drag others into my misery. The weak feeling was just as bad when I was wearing the necklace, but the heartache was even worse. I did not know how much I loved Ominis until the moment in Gaunt Mansion that he'd told me he could not see me anymore. We had said our goodbyes at the iron gates surrounding the grounds, and I did not even dare to look in his eyes when he told me that for my safety, he would not reach out again. He made a trade to save me. I preferred to be dead over this feeling.

And I hated myself for thinking that, for thinking I was no one without him. But I just could not see clearly anymore. My life had become darker than a midnight sky.

Footsteps approached and I forced myself to look up. Red hair, freckles and a familiar grin looked down on me. Garreth Weasley.
I had forgotten all about him. And our last encounter.

'Well Miss Dijkstra, skipping exams now, are we?'

'Piss off, Garreth.' My voice sounded blank, no emotion. I noticed how his grind faded and made place for a different look - a worried one. Guilt. It looked sincere but I did not trust my judgment nowadays.

'I know I am not one to talk, Ava, but you look...'

'I know how I bloody look, Garreth.' I was already tired of hearing him out. He annoyed the hell out of me as he sat down next to me.

'I am sorry. I must be the last one you want to talk to right now and I do apologize for my behavior at the ball. I felt - I was jealous. And I got winded up by my fellow Gryffindors. It's no excuse but... I do see right now you need a friend. And we once were.'

He sounded so sincere it made my heart ache a little more. I knew that Garreth was not the person he pretended to be when he'd hurt me, I of all people could tell that when being high in your emotions you sometimes do things you shouldn't. So I understood.