Linked Souls

1) innocence of a child

Since I was little, I was an outcast.
Little boy at the age of nine, no one loves him .. but no one hates him either.
I was nobody, nothing, as if I were a void.

This boy who sits in the last row in school, no one sits next to him except his own backpack, and no one even knows his name.
All the makings of a villain in movies, but I'm not a villain. not yet, although there were a huge number of people around me, I always felt alone inside my head.

Sometimes I even wished I would be bullied by bullies like in the classic-American-movies when they bully the hero of the story, but it seems that I wasn't the hero of the story, as I mentioned earlier, I was marginalized.

Lacking passion, impatiently waiting for the school day to end so that I can go back to my tiny room and sit alone playing video games as I was a great gamer, who can win in any game, that is the only way to escape from the disappointing reality, as if they were harmless drugs that give you happiness and pleasure.

But all that changed when I saw her, an innocent angel on our earth, an unspeakable beauty that the mathematics teacher had brought to us.

A new girl came to our school.

but she wasn't like the rest of the girls here, she was special, she seemed ... different.

It felt like that we had a communication without words, that was weird but cute at the same time.
She was looking at me and smiling while the teacher was talking to us about our new classmate who came from another city, but frankly I did not understand what the teacher said, My eyes were shining with the sparkle of her eyes. I heard the teacher's words as if they were humming in Chinese.

After the teacher finished the long speech "whose meanings I did not focus on" she said to the new student :
"Choose a place to sit in, Leia."

Leia .. what a beautiful name for a beautiful creature like her.

Leia moved slowly while my heart beat increased, and a struggle occurred between my mind and my heart, as my mind became walking with the sword of logic and realism, killing all kinds of hope that she would choose To sit by my side.
while my heart was summon armies of new hopes with every beat.
The closer she got, the greater the struggle between hope and despair inside me.
After a long war, She stood in front of me and said in an angelic voice, "Can I sit next to you?".

At that time, my mind threw his sword out of his hand, and my heart danced the dance of victory, and my tongue murmured saying, "Ye-Yes , for sure, here you go." and removed my backpack from the desk.

As she sat next to me, I saw the universe around me gradually changing from a dark hell to a heaven lit up with the light of happiness, I was trying to stop myself from looking at her so that she wouldn't pay attention to me, but I always failed in all my attempts.
How do I stop seeing these delicate features and hazel eyes?
I wish I could touch her to make sure she's real and not a mirage, but I can't touch her for no reason, it would look awkward.

She wasn't wearing perfume, but she had a nice, natural scent.

All eyes were on us, as if their minds were thinking about how she could leave all those places and sit beside him, This nobody, as if they hated to see me happy, even for once, as if I was a monster who didn't deserve a friend.

The sound of the bell at the end of the school day interrupted those looks, and for the first time in my life I felt sad when I heard the sound of the bell.

I wished that time would freeze, that the hands of the clock would not move so she would sit beside me forever.
She and I gathered our papers, and we stood up, then she asked me "what's your name?".

From her beauty my tongue was held.
I couldn't reply, I stood looking at her in silence.

Long silence.

Her laugh broke that silence and said, "What? Don't you know your name? You're such a weirdo."

Then she left.
I almost killed myself that day. How didn't I answer to her?
How did I not take the opportunity to get to know her.
I went back to my room and sat playing video games but for the first time I was losing at every level.
My mind was focused on blaming me for how I didn't respond to her. I can't fail to make her my friend. I may have failed to make any friend, but except for her, I couldn't pass this opportunity from my hands.

I started practicing saying my name in front of the mirror for the rest of the day.
"Hi Moon my name is John."
No, no noo
of course not.
Is my hairstyle good?
Do I smell bad?
I've been practicing until I think I said my name 1,536 times that day with different ways.

Then I slept and was so excited to see her the next day to tell her my name.

"Hey, my name is John"