Spencer Reid and MGG Imagines

Familial Issues

Being Spencer Reid's girlfriend was an interesting life to lead. When they first got together, Y/n didn't understand his significance within the academic world. When she found out, learning from the countless looks she got when she mentioned him being her boyfriend, Spencer thought it was hilarious. If he was being honest, it felt nice to not have someone ogle at him or demand him to state some random fact on the spot, he could just be himself with her. Then, she met the team and learned of their popularity within the FBI and, soon, found herself looking around to see people that made her feel slightly inferior. It wasn't the first thing she felt, it was something gradual. Over time, she began to see all their achievements and lost all of hers. Spencer didn't notice it at first either, but when she started rejecting going out with the team, or just him in general, he thought she was ashamed of him. However, that never made sense to him because she never stopped showing him how much she loved him and, after some time, he realized it. He realized that he wasn't the problem, that she had lost touch with herself and drowned in his world. It had been a quiet Saturday night and Spencer had gotten a text from Penelope asking if he and Y/n wanted to go out with the rest of the team.

"Babe, you up for going out with the team tonight?" He approached her as she lay on the couch.

Suddenly, her calm demeanor changed and her body went rigid.

"Um, I'm okay, I'm too tired. You can go out with them though," She said all too quietly, avoiding his gaze.

"Y/n, what's going on? You haven't gone out with any of us for weeks." He said, finally giving in to the nagging feeling within his chest that told him to say something.

She got up from the couch, "Nothing's wrong, Spence. I'm just tired, okay?"

He followed her into the kitchen, "So, then you've been tired for..." He trailed off as he glanced at his watch, "six weeks, three days, eighteen hours, five minutes, and two seconds?" He jumbled out.

She looked at him from her stance by the counter, not knowing what to say.

"Fine, Spencer, let's go out with the team." She said with anger dripping from her voice as she hastily walked into their bedroom and began to change.

"No, Y/n, you know that's not what I want. If you don't want to go out with them, fine, but could you at least respect me enough to tell me the true reason why?" He said as she aggressively opened their closet door.

"THAT IS THE REASON WHY!" She exclaimed as she found herself getting more worked up over this fight than she expected.

"NO, IT'S NOT!" He yelled back.

The couple stared at each other for a few moments, ragged breaths and all, before he spoke up once more.

"If you can't tell me why, then I'm walking out of here." He said, keeping her stare. The air went thick at his threat and Y/n found it hard to keep fighting her tears.

She continued to stare at him as the war in her mind went on. For Spencer, her silence was too long not to be alarming and he realized he had to make good on the threat he gave in a moment of weakness.

"Okay." Is all he said as he grabbed his keys and walked out the door. However, before he closed it behind him, he glanced back to find an empty room with Y/n still in their bedroom, waiting for the sound of the door shutting.

So, he shut the door.

—

It wasn't like Y/n had had a perfect childhood. Something Spencer never found out about during their two years of dating. She always wanted to tell him about everything she grew up around, but every time she gained just a bit of courage, it disappeared a second later. She couldn't explain why she never told him, there had never been something he did that put her off, but, for some reason, she was scared. Scared of what he would say, what he would think, or if his love for her would change. Everything. She was scared of everything. Part of the reason she felt so inferior toward the whole group was because of the things she was told growing up. From her parents and the people around her, any loss she took was an opportunity to remind her of just how much she wasn't capable of. No matter how much older she got or the things she constantly did to make up for the way she thought of herself, she could never escape the things her parents would remind her of, "You have a role here.", "I'm the parent, you're the kid.", "Respect is earned, not given.". Sometimes she felt as if she was suffocating from the overload of negative thoughts that poured into her brain when she failed at something. Throughout all the fights and all the times she tried to get past the damage her parents had done, her mind lost its battle to negative thoughts, and the yearning to keep herself afloat with positive self-talk was lost in the ruins. Spencer not knowing any of this made for a constant one-sided strain because he never fully understood why she was doing what she did. Y/n had an inkling that he could deduce she had familial issues because he was a behavioral analyst, but he didn't know the full story. It was part of the reason why his leaving during one of their only fights stung the most. He didn't know that his walking out brought her back to the days when her dad was constantly slamming the front door behind him as he yelled at her mom and backed out of the driveway. He didn't understand that this triggered so many horrible traumas within her mind that sent her down a rabbit hole spinning.