California POV
I was minding my business, arguing with Texas with usual, when the dumb little toenail of a being ruined my day.
You must be confused dear stalker. Allow me to explain. I am, of course, talking about England, my ex-best friend. We were super close as kids, but the little bastard stole my tortilla chip flavored coffee and I vowed never to speak to him again.
Ever since then the dumb bitch has been trying to make it up to me, but I have realized he is actually an insufferable piece of toe jam and prefer arguing with the other states. (May favorite hobby I'm so sane you're the one stalking me)
So anyway, I was minding my damned business and the dumbass England crossed the stepped across the fucking chickenoodle soup of the ocean.
"Heyyyy Cali!!!" Oh my Sky Daddy why me, the wet sock was incredibly high; I could smell his rancid breath from miles away.
"Fuck off ENGY I'm busy arguing with Texas!" I shouted back at him.
"Yeah!" Chorused Texas, "And I'm going to win this time bitch!" They directed the last comment at me.
"Sure you are land of dumbass gun laws," I replied snarkily.
I got so distracted assaulting Texas that I didn't notice England next to me until I caught a whiff of his rancid breath. I whipped around, startle by the stench and saw his fugly face much, much to close for my hating ass. My face heated (with anger, sky daddy smite you and your filthy mind) and I took a step back before grabbing Texas's gun from their hands and brandishing it at England.
"I swear to Satan go back to your continent or I will shoot you to the moon."
Texas grabbed themself another gun from their endless stockpile and pointed it at him as well.
"Let us finish our Sky Daddy-damned argument and come back later when you're not so high off of New Zealand's new drug store." Texas then pointed their gun at me, "IT'S ON BITCH!!"
England scurried off, probably to return to New Zealand's drug store.
--------------------------------------------------End of Part 1-----------------------------------------------------------
WC: 354
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California x England
FanfictionSo pretty much all of the Countries/states have person versions and live in their little version of country/state hell on earth. California and England were friends as children but have a falling out with each other. England however, always wanted t...
