Mindless | AOT x Male Reader [Discontinued]

Chapter 30 - Doubts

"Where am I?" I mumbled, gradually sitting up and opening my eyes. But the moment the light from inside the room reached them a searing migraine erupted in my head. Wincing, I snapped my eyes shut and hid my face under a pillow to keep any trace of light from seeping in. Memories from yesterday resurfaced. 'I guess transforming for a fifth time wasn't a good idea,' I internally groaned. My entire body ached in pain, skin was raw and radiating heat, every twitch and slight shuffle I made in bed causing a wave of burning pain.

I laid there feverishly minute after minute. Noticing my body wasn't healing at all, whilst I continued to endure nausea and cold sweats. 'I need to go do something, sitting here cramped up like this is getting to me.' I pushed myself up, swinging my legs off the bed and onto the cold wooden floor. Opening my eyes slowly, and careful not aggravate my migraine I held my hand to my forehead. Mitigating the brightness at least a little bit. 

My stomach grumbled loudly.

'That's why I feel like shit. . . I've had nothing to eat since I passed out, and my body can't repair itself.' I pushed onto my feet, walking to the door and using what little strength I had to grab the door handle, twisting it open. Slightly dizzy I wobbled out the door of the room.

Walking into the hallway, I heard voices coming from dining room and headed there. 

"Besides, it's my fault the strategy for retaking Wall Maria got shelved," I heard Eren say.

Mikasa trying to comfort him, "It's not your fault, so don't worry about it."

"All I care about. . . is getting a chance to fight that Beast Titan. Whatever that damn ape is, I'll never forgive it," Connie said, the room turning silent for a few seconds. "Mikasa, it's about time to switch lookouts," he sighed. Shortly after, both of them walked out of the room and headed down the hall, failing to notice me. I turned the corner after they'd left, walking into the dining room and collapsing down into one of the seats exhausted.

"Must be nice. You and the others. . . You have goals in mind, even though they won't be easy. But me, now that Ymir is gone. . . I don't even know what I want," Historia spoke in a monotonous voice. Neither her or Eren noticing me.

"You want to make me something to eat." I rested my head on my hand a small grin adorning my face. I grabbed both their attentions, and noticing the rather unamused faces I spoke again, "I'm starving right now. . . Look at me. My body hasn't healed an inch since exiting my Titan." Historia sighed. Nevertheless, grabbing something from the cupboards and throwing it at me. "Thank you!" I caught the small bag, quickly ripping it open and looking inside to see a small loaf of bread and a precooked potato.

"Don't you want to save Ymir though?" Eren continued their conversation.

"Yeah, but. Back then, I couldn't believe what she did. Though It's true I wanted to save her. But now, I'm thinking differently. Ymir chose her own path in life, I have no right to change that." Historia finished, just at the same time as I'd also finished scarfing down that meal. Feeling slightly better, warm steam evaporating off my body, repairing itself and soothing my skin. 

'I'm still hungry. . .' I thought at the same time as my stomach grumbled, Historia noticing and looking at me. I smirked, shrugging my shoulders and gesturing at the cupboard.

"Last one." She rolled her eyes, grabbing another set of food and sliding it across the table to me.

"Finally, you're talking again." Eren leaned onto the table.

"Huh?" She looked at him confused.

"When we came here, you told us all about yourself, but since then, you haven't smiled once, and you rarely talk either." Eren explained. 'I don't remember that. I probably wasn't paying attention when they were talking about it. Although he's right, I haven't heard anything from her once since we came here.' I thought back to when I was in that little cell. 'She was a lot different then, maybe she was trying to hide it.'