TW: ⚠️ Self-harm Suicide Overdose Hallucinations Blood ~~~~~ please let me know if you think I should add a TW for anything else xoxo
Tears fell from the sky and crashed into the ground, leaving a loud 'thud' before melting onto the concrete. Much like Dazai's mind currently, the sky was foggy. The ex-mafioso rested his slender hand on the door knob to the detective agency, and turned it weakly. He felt so exhausted he couldn't even turn the door knob without almost falling asleep. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he slept or even ate.
As Dazai entered the agency, he knew that today would be a shitty day. He knew he was much too tired to pull off his usual facade, but he still forced himself to. "Dazai, you're late... again. Why am I even surprised anymore? Just- go do your work" Kunikida said with a sigh. "Oh cmon~~ I wasn't that late..." Dazai struggled to keep up his goofy facade, nevertheless he continued pushing himself. All he wanted was a nice nap once he got home, but he had a feeling that wouldn't happen. "Yeah, sur-" Kunikida was interrupted by a silver haired man, he had a green yukata under a black haori
"Dazai, Atsushi, Kunikida, I have a mission for you. Come to my office, please." Fukuzawa said sternly. "President Fukuzawa.." Dazai mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. The others looked at him weirdly but shook it off. They were used to weird behavior from the brunette, this was nothing new. They followed the silver haired man into his office and waited for him to speak. Next to him was Rampo, snacking on a bag of shrimp chips.
~Dazai's POV~ I couldn't hear what the president was saying. I'm more worried about keeping myself conscious. His words tune out and I feel my vision blurring. My wrists begin to itch, and I take out my hands and mindlessly claw at them with my sharp nails. Hopefully nobody noticed. After I am finally satisfied and my wrist no longer itches, I put my hands back into my pocket. My arms feel like they're on fire, but the sensation is strangely.. mesmerizing, in a way. Today has been dreadful. What's the point in living if every day is just this all over again? The pain snapped me back into reality, and before I knew it, I saw the president yelling my name. "Dazai! Pay attention, this is important!" "Right, sorry, I just.. tuned out for a bit." I said tiredly. "May I.. go to the bathroom real quick?" Rampo furrowed his eyebrows at me in concern. ~Time Skip~ I lay down on the cold bathroom floor, seemingly half asleep. My thighs and arms burn from the fresh slits. I feel ashamed, but at the same time, I feel proud. Proud of myself for being able to endure this physical pain. The cold metal knife rests on the floor next to my legs. Wide slits litter my arms and legs, almost looking like eyes of a monster. In those eyes, there is a dirty shade of yellow and blood dripping around the edges. Some of those eyes, however, are not yellow but a grayish white, almost like an eye with no pupil or iris. After a couple minutes of deciding whether or not I really wanna die in a dirty bathroom with my friends just outside the door, I reach over for the pills. I grip the orange container with my now bloody fingers and twist off the cap, which leaves a pop as I open it. I pour a handful of the pills and stare at them for a second. When I was younger, I would dream of this moment. I can't believe this is happening. I will finally feel peace, once and for all. I decide it's time to go. I put all the pills in my mouth, and reach over for my water bottle. I can taste the pills on my tongue and they aren't very good, so I rush as I twist open the cap of my water and swallow. The pills go down my throat harshly, and for a second, I feel hopeful. I feel at peace, once and for all. That peace is ruined by the foul taste of pills still lingering on my tongue. Ew. A couple minutes later, I feel my heart beating out of my chest. My breath is heavy and my vision is blurred. My ears are ringing like crazy, and I feel like I can't even move. My stomach also feels like it's about to explode. I thought death by overdose would've been less painful, but I guess not. Behind the ringing in my ears, I hear faint banging on the door. Has Rampo figured me out, or are they just worried? I have been in here for quite a bit. I'm surprised they care enough to check, though.
~End of Dazai's POV~
The detectives banged loudly, frantically yelling Dazai's name. They knew Dazai had a knack for attempting suicide, but they wouldn't think he'd actually do it. They thought he was just pretending to want to die, you know, like a joke? But no, this was 100% real. They felt the terror of it all as soon as Rampo had figured it out. Now, all that mattered was getting Dazai out alive. And maybe some therapy too. "Dazai! DAZAI! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Fukuzawa yelled, banging even louder. Atsushi used his tiger arms (idk what else to call it help 😭) to kick the door in. Atsushi widened his eyes and stammered, being the first one to see this sight. He ran over to Dazai and kneeled by his side, unsure what to do or say. ~Atsushi's POV~ I quickly kneel down next to Dazai. What do I do?! Is there really anything I can possibly do to help? I see him struggling to keep his eyes open while averting his gaze to me. He shakily reaches out his hand and places it on my chest, in a weak attempt to push me away. I look down at the cuts that litter his body. I see a variety of seemingly fresh cuts and old scars. How long has he been doing this for!? All this time, when he's been late for work and came in with fresh bandages, I never thought to check in on him. What good am I if I can't even tell when my own mentor is struggling? Why hadn't I realized earlier? Tears start to roll down my cheek as I look at him in horror.
~Dazai's POV~ My vision is blurry, so I can't quite make it out, but is that.. Atsushi? Next to me? I tilt my head up and flicker my eyes, desperately trying to keep them open. The others rush to call Yosano. Why is he here? Can't he just go away? Im surprised he even cares. I raise my hand against his chest and try to push him away, but he doesn't even budge. How weak am I right now? This is so embarrassing. "p-please.. don't-.. don't call h-h.. her. l-et me go-o... please." "No way! I'm not letting you die!" the were-tiger exclaimed, yelling at Yosano on the phone to come over. "I-it's all I a-ask..- ats-ushiiii, pleaaseee~?" I can't believe it. Am I really trying to be silly right now? I'm dying, damn it. I'm cut off in the middle of my thoughts by a hard slap on my cheek. It burns, and I shakily hold my hand over the spot. Of course he would've done this... I suddenly felt a rush of symptoms. Bright colors spewed out everywhere, there were flashes of red and orange and green and blue and every color you could think of. There was a giant blue frog towering over me.. my head starting aching with pain and I tried to scream, but all that came out were muffled sounds. My ears were ringing even louder, but I managed to hear the muffled sounds of my colleagues yelling and struggling to keep me awake. "let me... di-... die-?~" "Shut up you maniac!" Kunikida shouted before rushing to get more gauze for Yosano. I saw Yosano, frantically treating my wounds and using her power, but my ability made it nearly impossible. She would have to do this without her ability. I saw a giant rattlesnake, flashing different colors.. it went from red to blue, ble d to rue br u e .. to- rlu ed..
My vision faded, was I... blacking out?
1504 words End of chapter!! I hope you enjoyed, I will be working on a part 2 this weekend <33 This is my first chapter I've ever written so forgive me if you can't understand some parts or if my grammar is bad
Btw I know the last part will look weird(er) for some devices but here is what it's supposed to look like:
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