Scribbles, Thoughts, and Doodles.

Scribble: You can't read my story.

Enjoy :)

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A series of books. 356 pages per book. 500 words per page.

Your name is the title, your life is the theme.

how many books are you writing?

How many books will you be reading?

I would say I'm quite good at reading,

But a person does not have a story you can simply look at and read.

You do not know someone's heart, mind, life,

the bad, the good, the struggles, the glory,

all with a stare.

it takes more than a glance, you have to give them a chance, listen to their words, make sure you truly hear,

their story

School taught me to never judge a book by its cover at a very young age

a moral lesson reiterated until engraved into my brain.

I used to be a star student. a role model, but sometimes life gets in the way.

but I never expected circumstances I can't control to affect how others feel about me.

Personally, I wouldn't have picked to go uni.

I believe I can make something of myself without a bachelor's, master's, or PhD.

but nowadays it's an expectation. I was told if I didn't go id be miserable so I should at least apply. so I tried to.

500 words to put my best foot forward? Well, what if both my feet are worn? what if they're dirty because I haven't showered? what if they're calloused from having to always fight though feeling like a coward? what if they're covered in blisters from trying to provide for my brothers and sisters? what if they have been busy running me around to find me a way to survive?

the questions read:

"how have you been involved in your school community?"

"how have you shown leadership at school?"

"how many achievements have you made at school?"

Well maybe I haven't been to school recently

maybe I've been busy struggling outside of school

Maybe I've been dealt bad cards or maybe the world is just cruel

maybe I've been worried about finding some stability

You don't know what I've been through

Yet your stand tall in position ready to assess my ability

based on the 500 words I have, for answers I cannot give to you.

500 words is 1 page of my life.

What the hell kind of questions even are those? why do I have to be a leader to some school kids I don't know, im a leader because I guide my siblings and help them grow.

you set the standard and but you need to reconsider. why can't you see?

half of these kids are more than what you believe them to be.

they're more than their worst grades and more than As in chemistry

They're more than just future engineers and future secretaries.

Why do we have to be the best all of the time?

I did the work, where will you draw the line?

I know it's not standard, but this book you cannot read

I need you to listen and hear my story

Please understand that

School does not define me.

So here is my question to you, university.

How dare you?

I dedicated most of the life I have lived.

I had so many sleepless nights.

diagnosed with anxiety and depression, dammit we were only kids.

I studied so hard, I tried my very best.

but like I said life got in the way.

I had better things to worry about than some useless 15-question test.

What else do i need to do? Am I supposed to apologise?

Because that's just not fair and I don't deserve to be penalised.

But whatever, im sorry okay, for having such a shitty little life. and im sorry that it affected my chances when I applied.

It's bullshit though. the fact that I only needed to pass one more test to be accepted.

the fact that one test would cost me 6 months.

I had perfect grades and you threw them all away

because my home life wasn't stable enough for me to finish one more essay.

yeah my bad. my sincerest apologies.

i wasted your time, I mustn't be smart enough for this opportunity.

news flash: you've lost. you lose. and you'll continue losing.

we were taught not to judge a book by its cover but take a look at yourself. it's confusing.

you are missing out on millions of amazing minds

by these outdated standards, you choose to keep using

It is time for the truth, finally for some honesty.

please, I beg, change your ways, end this hypocrisy.

I missed a lot of school, didn't get the grades I needed while i was busy trying to survive

we are all different, living different lives

I gave everything to have a chance but it was all an empty sacrifice.

I hope you can listen and learn something from me

though I am just a teen with no university degree

I think this is all unfair but i can't say im not relieved

I wouldn't want to be a part of something where their judgement is completely absurd

because It's impossible to know my book by reading 1 page.

I am more than 500 words.