Seven Boys of Bad Luck

the sixth

My friend once told me that your first kiss is like your "pre-flower". He said it was like your minor virginity.

The sixth took mine and I regret it all.

He was a year older. Before we were together, I used to think of him as one of my best friends because he was like an elder brother to me. Little did I know that elder brother would rob me of something I wouldn't be able to take back.

I never told anyone, but he was full of lust. And as his girlfriend at the time, he saw me as obligated to fufil that void he had dug in himself with his desires.

He would become a different person. His tone would change from hushed to a husky sound that did nothing to me but cause fear to build up in my stomach. The eyes that once looked at me with love grew hazy and roamed my body as if he wanted to devour me.

It was like he was the Wolf and I was Little Red, trying to get to what could have been our love.

He would run his finger over my skin in a questionable manner, making me shiver, but never in the same desire he had. I only had a want to push him off of me, but the look in his eyes warned me if I did there would be consequences.

Every touch felt dirty and soon I couldn't even hold his hand without fearing where the other hand would roam. I was digusted with the relationship I was trapped in.

Soon he was pleading for kisses. I didn't want to, I felt as if I had given him so much already, but he pressed for what he wanted.

I'll never forget how digusted I felt as my lips met his for a brief moment before I immediately pulled away with the excuse that I was too nervous.

He was angry and dissatisfied with me, saying that wasn't a real kiss and that I could have done better.

But it was a real kiss to me as well as it was my first.

I sobbed into my pillow for days, mourning what I had given him and couldn't take back. One's first kiss is supposed to be with someone that you love and adore, not someone you fear.

And that is what number six practically seized from my grasp that was too loose in the first place.