Never Knew I Needed (Chaelisa)

Chapter 31

Seokjin texts me to tell me my weekly rota is in about an hour after Rosé leaves, and so reluctantly, I drag myself out of bed, away from the smell of Rosé and the memories of the past twenty-four hours, and get my ass into the shower.

I wash away the feel of Rosé's lips and hands on my skin, hating myself for doing so. If it were my choice, if it were socially acceptable to go out stinking of sweaty, passionate sex then I totally would; though I don't think the world would take too kindly to that.

When I finish showering, I climb out and dress myself, letting my hair air dry as I head on out and leave my building. The sun seems brighter when I get outside, and I find myself smiling at bright blue sky above me.

There's a big batch of clouds looming over to the far right of the sky, but I just chuckle because I swear the weather is reflecting my life right now. It's like a cosmic approval because the sun is back, but there's still those few patches that are gloomy and uncertainty that I just need to go away so everything can just be clear, and okay for once.

Anyway, the walk to my work is quick and there's a chill in the air but I barely even notice. I open the door to the coffee store and step inside, shaking my head and unzipping my jacket, pulling open the lapels to free my neck because apparently Seokjin doesn't care about heating bills since it's boiling hot in here.

Though as I'm doing it, I pause, the breath catching in my throat because I feel a pair of familiar eyes burning into my head and glance up, finding Rosé standing there, by the counter, a wary half-smile on her face. My heart immediately thumps loudly against my chest, the unaccustomed effect of seeping into my veins, and I stare at her for a long moment, the indecision of how to greet her suddenly greeting me.

On one hand, I want to run up to her, hug her and kiss her in greeting, but on the other hand, I know there's still things we need to discuss, things we haven't figured out yet, and there are boundaries which means I can't do that.

So I settle for something more PG, and push away the conflict and clear my throat, shoving my hands into my pockets and head on over to her.

"Hey," I say, my leg jigging about nervously. Damn. I gotta stop that.

She smiles at me, fully this time. "Hey, Lisa."

"What are you doing here?"

She turns her head, looking over the counter toward the back room. "Waiting to talk to Seokjin," she replies and glances back at me. "I was going to ask to come back to work."

My heart stutters a little at the news. First she's back in my life in general, and now she's invading all the spots that made me weep and ache when she first left. It's so different, and now I'm understanding a little more why she left earlier; her coming back is going to be a lot to take in—hell, it already is—and I need a little time to myself to just figure out how to adjust to that.

"You're coming back to work?" I ask, blinking in surprise.

She bites her lip, suddenly seeming nervous as her hands move to the zipper on her jacket, running it up and down. "Is that okay?"

I jolt a little at the question, unsure of why she's asking, and I almost to go ask just that but then it hits me that she doesn't know whether I would want her to come back. I can tell that she's nervous about being back around me so much, and I'm a little hesitant myself but I wouldn't change her being back for anything. I wouldn't want it any other way because she's back in my life and that's all that really matters. That's all I've wanted for the past year.

"Of course it's okay," I say, shrugging my shoulders because I don't know how it could never not be. "You don't have to ask me, Rosie."

Despite my words, she still seems hesitant. "I didn't know," she murmurs and ducks her chin to her chest, eyes focusing on her hands still working her zipper. "I just..." She shrugs and picks her head up, eyes finding mine, the nerves visible through them. "I didn't know if you'd want me around."