Rabbid Guy

I Think You Might Hate Me

Guy held his head in his hand while he began to notice the grass all around him, and a car passing by.

This was definitely not his room.
And there were rabbids!? He froze. They were so close to him, staring at him, what was he supposed to do? Did you play dead with rabbids or make yourself look big?

He found himself playing it safe, making no sudden moves. He couldn't remember how he got here, hell, where even was here? Oh no. He was pantless. He was in grass tall enough so he was hard to spot, but if he was going to go home, he was going to have to do it half nude. Oh gosh he really didn't want to do that. Maybe he could just stay here where people couldn't see him and die, or maybe call someone.. no, his phone had been in his pants! Probably lost somewhere. Great, he was going to have to buy a new one.

"Bwah bwah?" One of the rabbids said something. Guy held his breath. Both of them were wearing some accessories, but this one had on a tie. The rabbid had such a confused look. His face subtly changed from awe to fear and to anger. Guy didn't like how it was very obviously being pinned on him, as if there was something wrong with him. To be fair there WAS something wrong. Guy was pantless and lost in a ditch, but that wasn't a reason for a rabbid of any creature to gawk.

"Bwah? Bwah bwah??" Tie pointed to Guy, made an 'O' shape with his hand followed by a shape that would have been his pointer and middle finger up, with his thumb resting just below them. The other rabbid covered in stickers spoke up like they were saying something to the tie wearing one, which seemed to make Tie reply in an urgent tone.

Tie held up Guy's driver's license, pointed to the image on it, then Guy. Afterward he put both of his hands up on top of his head like he had an extra set of ears. He pointed upward, spinning a pointer finger by his wrist, then made a 'y' shape with his hand before lightly punching his chin.

Whatever was going on Stickers didn't seem to like it in the slightest, starting to look at Guy with disgust and sadness.
Tie spoke to Stickers again, pleading with them over something, but Stickers seemed to become defensive.

The two were distracted. Guy leaned in close behind Tie and swiped his license back. He stood up as soon as he got the card. Stickers still had his wallet. As afraid as he was, there was no way Guy was leaving without it. In a blur of impulse he launched himself at Stickers, but missed, sliding like a baseball player.

"Bwah!" Stickers barked.
Tie grabbed the wallet from Stickers but they fought back. A loud argument ensued, which Guy took advantage of, putting his arm in the mix to try and take his wallet while they fought. Tie let go, but Stickers wouldn't give up. That rabbid had such a strong grip that Guy was losing his edge looking into the eye of that wild thing.

Tie slapped Stickers on the back of his head, breaking his concentration, and his grip. Guy fell backwards, getting up running parallel to the road.
Tie tried chasing after him but Stickers got in the way.
Tie pushed them, fed up, and continued after Guy. Stickers reluctantly followed.

Guy saw the rabbids still chasing him. If the studies were right he was bound to have them on his tail for the rest of the day, or until they stole his wallet back. At least that promise meant his ridiculous situation had an explanation. Everybody had a friend or a relative who'd been embarrassed by a rabbid at some point. If you didn't, it was probably you with the embarrassing story. He was never going to hear the end of this if someone he knew saw him. Funny stories were a lot funnier after the fact, or better, happening to somebody else.

Reading street signs in the suburbs he realized he wasn't too far from Big Hope. Hopefully that meant he hadn't driven home. Asking someone to drive his pantless self home was so stupid he could already feel tears welling up.
He had sleep-walked more than he ever expected this time. There were so many hoops he had to jump through to get all the way out here. How come he never woke up? It was hard to imagine.
Maybe rabbids had something to do with it. They were easy to blame weren't they? Keeping him asleep and watching him for their entertainment wasn't out of the ordinary for them. Ah what was the use?! It wouldn't help him feel any better trying to figure out how any of this made sense. He only needed to fix it as fast as possible.