Ephemeral: Love, Pleasure and Hidden Pains

Four

p/s: It should just be a few chapters, like glass bridge. But turn out it longer than I thought. Thank you for all the comments. Also i don't know how to write happy story. Let me learn 💆

Apo woke up again with an ache all over his body. He was trying to not move much, afraid Dan would wake up too. It took him seconds to  feel the emptiness of the bed next to him. Loneliness and relief welcoming him. He got up fast and didn't mind the dizziness. The shower was fast, he needed to go out and get some fresh air.

He stepped out of the room, and was greeted by the delicious smell of food that welcomed him. The pan sound in the kitchen stopped. In the entrance of the kitchen stood Dan, calling for him. Sweet smile, pointed finger croaked to call him near the man.

"Baby", the sweet honeyed voice that never failed to flutter his heart. Apo looked at the handsome man who was wearing a pink apron. He was holding a spatula standing at the opening of their kitchen. He looks harmless, totally different from the man he faced the night before.

Dan smiled like nothing happened, "I cook lunch for us" he gleefully said, while walking closer to him. His leg was frozen in place. Dan held his hand gently and dragged him to the kitchen, completely disregarding that his lover was wearing clothes to go out. Completely ignored the bruises that started to form on the younger's neck and cheek. Apo sat on the stool as Dan put some force on his shoulders to sit. There nowhere to run.

With so much sweetness, he placed a soft kiss on the top of Apo's head, sniffing the floral scent of their shampoo. Then he kisses near the bruises he once made carelessly, completely tender opposite the horrid Apo had to face.

Apo who was now sitting was completely torn apart by the duality. Dan's eyes reflect the love and careness, his touch was addictively sweet. Like a switch of light, it turns 180 degrees. It melted his heart, his body comply with the sweet treatment. He leaned to the source of warmth, to the kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I crossed the line. I shouldn't do that", he looks directly into the beautiful hazel orbs. "It's just I was worried that something happened to you. I don't trust that man" Dan caresses his cheek, it lands on the bruises, Apo winches. Bible means no harm, Apo had insisted that since the beginning of their relationship. He had introduced all his friends but something about the Bible threw Dan off strangely.

Apo looked at the black eyes, full of worriness and regret. It happened again, he would give in to his apologies, Apo never knew why. Dan moves and kisses the place his knuckles met yesterday, kiss like it could make it any better. Like it could heal.

Then he remembers their promises, love. Dan was angry for a reason, his heart screaming. His mind said otherwise, telling him to run. Give in to his heart, his eyes shining with tears. "I'm sorry" he whispered unconsciously

"Hum?", the older man's face shining with confusion, it looked somehow fake. Like he was waiting for the apologies. He brushed away the tears threatening to fall from the younger one. Apo's face flush red due to the sweet treatment and him forcing to not cry.

"I should not break our promise. You give me enough love and what I did is careless", he said, truly taking all the blame. For years of their relationship, they had established the importance of promises, Apo never broke his promise.

It was two years back that Apo noticed Dan had broken many promises and gaslighted him. Apo love him too much to notice at first. When he did, Dan would brush it off. It started a year ago, Dan used a fist intead of mouth. Apo did nothing

He only have Dan

"Okay" Dan said as he smiled. Dimple showing. "You're sorry. But never again", he said possessively in his deep rumble, while showing his index finger at Apo's face, commending. He then playfully nudged the younger's red nose.

Apo's smile genuinely but the sadness in his eyes never leaves, "No more" he mumbled suddenly, his head tilt downward.

Dan once again was confused, genuinely. "What?" he asked and tilted Apo's head to face him by his chin with his index finger.

"No more beating," Apo mumbled. Dan catches that, the kitchen is too quiet for him to miss that. There was a beat of silence, before Dan convinced the younger one that he would never do that again, but both of them knew it was a lie. Apo knew but he could never let go of the warmth Dan provided to him.

***

Apo looked at Dan's concentrated face, he gently applied ointment to the bruises near his lips. His other soft hand draws a circle on his wrist, soothing his trembling heart. Dan had drag him to sit in the living room after finishing their brunch, they left the dishes as Dan insisted on cleaning the wound and resting more. He took a day off for Apo. He also stated that he'll be the one that would clean the rest of the house. Apo just needs to rest. His way to apologise, he stated again and again. Apo took it with a grain of salt.

Dan smiled, putting down the used cotton. He looked at Apo with a fond smile, "What with that furrowed eyebrow?"

Apo let his eyes drop into their linked hands, Dan's hands are warm compared to his. He always gets cold easily, even under fifteen minutes of time in the air condition room. On the other hand, Dan is warm, so is Mile. Both of them will always blast the room with the lowest temperature. The difference, Dan would never compromise, Mile would always turn off the air condition when Apo was nearby.

Apo is shivering in his own apartment. As if Dan could read his thoughts, he hugged Apo's body tightly. Squeezing the ache body, if not for the bruises Dan kicked out of himself yesterday, this scene could be cute, like the first year of their relationship. Nonetheless, Apo melted into the hug.

His cheek squished on Dan's broad shoulder, he inhaled the man's cologne, "Do you take the day off?", he asked, voice muffle. Dan chuckled at the cuteness.

Dan lifted his body a little so he ended up sitting on the man's lap. In this position, they are so much closer. His long hand hangs across the older back. He tighten hold, even when his body is screaming. He seeks warmth.

The older man took this new position as an opportunity to planted a featheries kiss on his neck, "Yes. I took the day off" he answered finally.

Apo unconsciously soothing the older man's back side, enjoying the care he was craving for a month. It had been a rough month. Usually this act would stay for a few weeks before he started to do his thing again. He could not waste time, inhaling the sweet treatment.

"You're a manager of a five star hotel. How could you take leaves for a few days?", Apo unconsciously asked, his body and mind almost floating in the sky, as Dan kept leaving kisses on his neck.

Dan stops at that, he turns rigid. But it only took a second before he cradled Apo's face. Now looking at the older, he could see him looking without any hint of smile, it is a sore subject. There is also a glint of warning in the older raven eyes, "I'm Mile's friend. He would let me take a leave if it was for your well being", that's all he said. Leaving no room for argument.

Apo took the hint gladly, he slowly lifted his cold hand, touching the man's warm neck, giving in for a soft kiss. He could feel Dan smile into the kiss. Their kiss slowly turned heated, Dan lifted Apo into a lying position on the sofa before a ring of phone broke the wet kiss.

The older man almost throws his phone away, but Apo catches Mile name flash on the screen. With his strength, he pushed Dan away. Immediately answered the phone. Leaving Dan land on his butt.

"P'Mile", he said, rushly. The end of the line was silent. Only heavy breathing. "Mile?", he called again. He sees Dan, he walks into their room annoyed. While on phone, there only a heavy breathing

"Mile—"

A chuckle breaks the silence. Undoubtedly it is Mile, but his chuckled sound is different. Sadistic. Apo knew that laugh. He never thought he heard that again.

"Ana–", his voice caught in his throat. He took a deep breath, still hearing the eerie chuckled and heavy breathing.

With a voice full of hesitation, he whispered

"Kinn?"