ripped pages (r. lupin)

6-Transform

Lizzie's hair brushed the tops of her shoulders as blew in the soft wind of Remus's open bedroom window. The moon was full, and her hot chocolate and book were sat on the windowsill, but her mind was too focused on other things to engage with them.

Her drink had grown cold.

Over the last few days Remus began to look paler and paler and sicker and sicker. Lizzie had numerous conversations with the family about how Remus looked to be on the brink of death when they woke up this morning.
Remus blamed it on his 'allergies' which was obviously a lie because this dumbass had told Lizzie multiple times about his lack of allergies, flexed about it even. Mrs Lupin had insisted that he was telling the truth, and it was nothing to worry about, but her gut twisted, and her instincts told her different.

This morning Remus's parents had left them alone until the next day, going to spend some time to themselves, after having both Lizzie and Remus to take care of for most of the summer.
Two hours ago, Remus said he was going to the bathroom and Lizzie was left alone with the hot chocolate he had tasked her to make. She thought to herself,
'Either he's taking the fattest shit of his life or something else is happening.'
Her footsteps were the only sound heard apart from the occasional howls from wolves in the forest behind the house.

The house consistently smelt like chocolate, which seemed to be a recognisable feature of the Lupin family.  As she walked into the empty kitchen, she noticed it looked like somebody just got up and left halfway through making dinner.
She peered around the kitchen to see if there was a note or something that would indicate where they all went but nothing was out of the ordinary apart from the slight chill that had formed in the room. Lizzie went and checked to make sure all the windows had been shut before noticing the back door had been left fully ajar and had been open since she stepped out of Remus's room.
Looking around for some shoes to put on before she stepped outside she noticed three sets of footprints in the mud leading to the trees in the forest behind the house.
Deciding there was no time to waste, Lizzie stepped into the mud barefoot, starting to pick up the pace as she slowly realised how incredibly dark it was in the surrounding trees. The gruesome howls of the wolves in the forest convicting her that it's probably time to turn around and head back to the house, but the light from the house had become so weak that it was no longer recognisable, and she was just spinning in a small circle.
A tree root became wedged over her barefoot and she tripped and landed on her face, the impact causing blood to rush out of her nose at a concerning pace.
Lizzy crawled along the forest floor until her hands came into contact with a tree, wide enough for her to lean against it and make sure her she was okay.
She felt her nose still profusely bleeding and came to the conclusion that it had broken upon impact.
Her eyes began to slowly drift closed and as they closed, she felt a body leaning against hers and brushing her hair out of her face.
/////

The sun began to rise through the trees, but Lizzie remained in her deep slumber, the blood from her nose dried and clinging to her face and shirt. She had bruised hands, and a very tired Remus Lupin resting, leaning his head on her thighs. His eyes were open and looking right at the girl he was on.

He waited for her to wake, making sure she knew she was going to be fine, and that she was not by herself.

"Remus... Remus, where did you go last night? I made us hot chocolates but when I was done you were gone. I was so worried!" She took some of his chestnut hair into her hands and twirled it in her fingers.

"I'm so sorry Lizzie. I just went for a walk, I got lost. I thought you were asleep. But you never should have gone after me, you could have been seriously hurt, and you basically were. How is you nose feeling?"

"No, no, don't lie to me Remus, I know you. I know something was wrong. You looked like death all day yesterday, you refuse to tell me what's wrong, then you lie to me. I'm not an idiot, and don't you dare treat me like one. So, tell me what has been going on with you or so help me, I will find out myself."

He had sat up and was sitting leaning back onto a tree opposing her. His eyes widened the more she spoke, and he was left looking shocked that she would call him out.

"Look, its really complicated and I get that you want to know but, some things just don't need to be talked about like this." Remus stood up and put his hand out to help her get up but she slapped it away and ran towards the house.

/////

"What the hell are you doing in here! I told you; you don't need to know everything! He yelled at her, but it was too late.

Ripped pages laid scattered all over the floor, calendars, and his moon cycle charts were all ripped off his walls, assorted into order. Lizzie sat on her knees in the middle of the mess, her head in her hands, shaking and sobbing. Her crying soon began to take over any yelling coming from Remus, so he stopped.

She knew. She knew what he was. The books she has were his journals, all of his thoughts since he was bitten. His very first journal was the only book that lay unscathed in front of her. But the pages were not filled with words, no thoughts, or legible ones anyway. It was filled with scribbles, drawn with bright markers, and crayons. The very front cover had a label on it that read ' Remus Lupin, 4 years old'. The scribbles inside depicted a young boy, and an animal. The animal appeared to be biting the boy. A werewolf.

"Dad hated werewolves, used to go around and talk about how the world would be a better place without werewolf vermin roaming the streets. Talked to some of the wrong people about it so they decided to get revenge. Some days, I wish they had killed me, would have made my life a bit easier I suppose." He chuckled at his own words. " I was 4. Dad never forgave himself, but I can tell. I can tell that in his heart he wishes I hadn't lived to torture him. He hasn't changed at all, and I know that he thinks I'm the scum of the earth. Mum would never admit it but I know she's scared of me. Of what I become when the moon goes full. I hate myself for it."

"Chocolate kills dogs. Its my favourite for a reason. Thats why I didn't tell you. I didn't want to scare you but I guess its too late now. We can write a letter to Lilly if you want to leave. I know i would." His cheeks gleamed with tears as the early morning sun hit his face.

She stood to face him and took his cheeks into her hands and used her thumbs to wipe the tears from them.

"I'm so sorry for not trusting you Remus, and I am sorrier that I made you feel like I would ever be afraid of you. You are still the same person as yesterday, the day before that, and the day we met. You will always be my Remus, my Moony." She pulled him into her embrace, and whispered in his ear till his parents came home, blissfully unaware of the situation.