ripped pages (r. lupin)

7- Times have changed

*Sirus's POV*

Life at the house has been so tiring. The whole summer has been a nightmare. Lizzie has been gone since the very first night and I feel like I'm going crazy. She won't tell me what happened, just that she was safe with Remus. 

I just miss my twin. I've been sleeping in her bed for a while now, Reggie joined me a week ago. We both want our sister. Reggie is exited to go to Hogwarts. I am excited for him, but it's hard to be happy when your other half isn't here, and you don't know why. 

Mother has always liked me more than her. I think she's jealous. Jealous that Lizzie is 12 and she is already happy. Happier than she ever was. We have friends, she has allies. I grew up feeling bad for her and father but since Lizzie left my empathy dropped into hatred. How hard is it to accept your children? I don't understand why I can't just leave. I asked Lizzie this in a letter, saying I was going to go James, but she shot me down immediately. 

I got up and dug her letter out from under the floorboard it was hiding under. 

Dear Sirius,

I know it seems right, and I know that you want to, but please don't leave. It is for the best, I promise. 

It may seem like leaving is the right option, but every day of this summer I have felt like a burden. Felt as though I am intruding on Remus and his family. I am imposing on them but more than that I miss you. If I could come back today, I would but I cannot. I am truly sorry Siri.

Stay a Grimmauld place until the day you can't. If not for me then for Reggie, he needs you.  

I love you so much and I miss you so, 

To my big brother, 

Love your little sister.

She sent that a week ago. I sent back but I still haven't had an answer. School goes back tomorrow, but I'm more nervous than exited. I'm nervous because what if things are different. What if she doesn't love me anymore. I suppose overthinking can kill. 

My bags are packed and so are Reggie's, his bag weighs more than the boy, but Father used a spell to make it lighter. Only after scolding me for letting him overpack. 

They need a new scapegoat and that just happens to be me. I had to stop with the pranks I was doing a while ago. After I locked Kretcher in the pantry for 2 days, and accidentally forgot to feed him, Mother decided she had enough and locked me in there for a week. Without food. 

I think I lost about 10kg over the summer because Mother only lets me eat every other day. Reggie always saves some of his dinner for me, so I am grateful, but I know I can't last much longer. 

/////

Reggie shook me till up got up, no matter how much I groaned, he still forced me out of the bed. "IM GOING TO HOGWARTS!" "Oh, wow, that's some new information, thank you for waking me up to let me know." He punched me in the shoulder grabbed his bags and left the room. Peace, finally. I took in the room for the last time in a while. All rooms in Grimmauld place were old, dusty, and cold. Lizzies was different. It didn't look different, but it felt it. It felt like her. When we were younger and our parents were having death eater meetings in the house, it was where we all went. Onto her bed, under her covers and we would just laugh and talk. I missed it almost every day, but it was over. I knew she was never coming home; I don't know if Reggie knows but he will in time.

I changed into some clothes and got my bag and a bag of the stuff Lizzie left at the house. Wand in hand I walked down the stairs to join Reggie by the front door. Mother and Father wrapped the arms around me, but I remained stiff. Father moved onto Reggie, but mothers' arms remained around me tightly. Not in a loving way. In a way I felt like I was being choked to death. She moved her bony face to hover over my ear, her hot breath hitting the back of my neck.

"Tell your bitch of a sister, if I ever see her face again, she's over." 

"Call her a bitch again and you'll be over, how does that sound?"

Her face morphed into shock and her hand reached into her pocket to grab her wand.

"You little shi-"

I ran to Kretcher and grabbed his hand. We flashed outside of platform 9.3/4, said our goodbyes to Kretcher and locked hands with Reggie.

 We ran toward the brick wall and emerged on the other side, being met with hundreds of students and their parents. I looked over to a family saying goodbye to their sons, the mother crying holding her sons, the dad standing a rubbing the womans back, reassuring her. Jealousy coursed through my veins and my eyes locked with the fathers.

 I put my head down and looked at my shoes. 

They were beat up and old doc martins, about 4 sizes too big. They were my favourite. Lizzie bought them for me for our birthday years ago. Claiming that I would 'grow into them'. 

"Glad to know you were looking for me Siri," It was her voice. "I really thought you missed me." She laughed at her own joke, knowing how I get when she isn't there.

I looked up and my eyes met hers. She had grown, we were now the same height. She was wearing the sweater she had made for Remus last Christmas, which was odd. It is the middle of summer. 

Never mind her outfit, my legs involuntarily sprung at her, my arms opening and wrapping her tight. I felt her wince but relax into my arms, then another arm wraps around me. Reggie. 

"Family hug guys!" 

Overexcited as usual. 

We dropped our embrace and made our way into the train, going to the end and sitting in our spot. We left Reggie on the platform to find his own seat and talk to people. Its good character development. 

James and Peter eventually joined us, and that was it. The Marauders were back like they had never left. Lizzie and Remus were sat next to each other on one side, her legs sprawled over his lap like they were at home. I wondered what their summer was like, but I was obviously distracted by James who put a whoopie cushion down on the seat Peter was sat on and the whole carriage laughed (except Peter who was bright red and scrambling to make sure they knew it wasn't him) and I felt immediately relaxed in the presence of my favourite people. 

Everything was normal again.