Colona

Yuck, It's Valentine's Day.

BTW: The cover's supposed to look like that. Just in case anyone asks. :)

I don't know what it's like to read from the point of view of an outsider, but it must be pretty boring. I know that I rarely read books where there's barely action, no dialogue or important events that will end with the main character having an emotional epiphany; but that's not what's going to happen here. I'm no storybook character with a great love story that could trump the loves of anyone else around the world! I simply have no love. And I'm not going to overcome the sadness in my soul and see the small spec of light hidden in the darkness! No one can really ever do that on their own, can they?

But I can assure you that this may be one of the most boring books you will ever read because I have no life. I spend most of my time reading online or writing a life story that has no intense plot line. Though there were times in my life when I was able to walk the streets and not be afraid to run into anyone I might know, those days are in the past and are now distant memories. And I can't say that I'm exactly the kind of "main character" you would expect, or even want to read about. I'm no exciting human being with plans of becoming the next Nelson Mandela. I don't really have that many friends and I talk in a whisper because I have no social skills and I get nervous when someone asks me a question as simple as, "Can I borrow a pencil?"

But no matter what story you're reading, there's always that shy, quiet main character that always gets noticed by the most attractive guy in the story because he sees the girl underneath and gets her to open up. In the end they will fall in love and have a love every soccer mom and teenage girl wishes for! I truly am that character. But in my life story it's different, because the guy of my dreams never actually notices me.

It's pretty obvious that the world is full of people like me, except they have stories worthy of being written and read all over the world. So, why did I choose to write mine? I chose to document mine because I truly believe that my story can help people like me throughout the world for years to come. I know I may mention many times in this book that I hate myself and that I'd be doing the world a favor by jumping off a bridge, but here's the truth: people are a lot like the rain. Some may not like you, but you serve a purpose. The world needs people like us.

This is the part of the story where you realize that I am truly Pinocchio giving an inspirational speech when I say this, because my motivational skills are not exactly on point. I can state a case; I just can't back it up. But maybe I will. Throughout this novel I may write down things that can back up my argument, but right now I have nothing. My mind is blank...

"Del, can I borrow a pencil?" Joe asked, smiling. I nodded, quickly grabbing a pencil from my binder and handing it to him. The entire time I was fumbling and shaking nervously. I tried to control it, but I simply couldn't. "Thank you." I simply nodded before going back to reading my novel.

I tried to ignore the three people, laughing and joking around me. But it's rather difficult when I sit next to someone whose laugh is funnier than his or her jokes. My efforts to drown out the world had worked. I was able to get lost in my novel once again and I didn't look up until our science teacher, Ms. Reich, told everyone to be quiet.

Ms. Reich then began to pass out a red sheet of paper. She'd glance down the row of people at the table before counting out the number of students in the row, setting the final number in front of the person closest to her. "Are those to vote for Valentine's Court?" Tanner W. asked in which Ms. Reich simply nodded.

Sighing, I pulled out a pencil so I can simply circle two random names and be done with the voting process. Everyone else in school had already voted, so everybody already had guessed who they thought would win the most votes overall. Either Tanner Whipple or Joe Wilson would win the title of Valentine King, and Vivianna Cabrales or Sophie McConnell would win Valentine Queen. Eighth grade was just the deciding vote, and everyone knew that at over half the class would circle both boys and both girls names before handing the paper back to Ms. Reich.

Tanner had already told me that I should vote for him many times. I would just nod and ignore him until the bell rang and he was forced to sit a few seats ahead of me while I sat in the back. But in science, there was no way to ignore him when he tells me that I should vote for him. So when I got my paper, I circled a name at the top of the list of the girls, and one near the bottom. I thought more about my choice for Valentine King, and I swear I could feel the tension at the table as I put my paper face down before handing it to Ms. Reich "Who'd you vote for Del?" Sophie asked. "Did you vote for me?" I was going to say something, but I decided against it. I am the kind of person that keeps my opinions private, so that's what I did.

Instead of telling Sophie the names I circled, I simply shrugged. "I just circled random names." She simply nodded, asking Tanner Sward whom he voted for.

We continued to take notes about the wind after all of the papers were turned in. There was unneeded commentary from Tanner W. (though we would all snicker every once in a while) and Sophie and Tanner S. would whisper to each other. There would be a random comment stating that they were cousins, and then someone (most likely Tanner W.) would say something that made everyone at the table laugh.

"Are you going to the dance, Del?" Sophie asked, looking up from her worksheet to start some sort of conversation. I don't know about her, but the silence made me a bit uncomfortable.

"I planned on it." I said softly, looking at my page of notes, searching for the answer to number 6.

"Wait, are you going on the party bus too?" one of the Tanners' asked (I can't exactly remember which one).

"Yea." I mumbled, focusing on finishing the homework so I can get out of this awkward conversation where they all ask me questions. I honestly hoped it wouldn't go any further than them just asking what's already been spoken. Thankfully it did, but there was no doubt that both the party bus and the dance would be the most awkward and horrifying times of my life.

"So," My Aunt Jaime asked. "Do you have a date to this dance?" She was straightening and styling my hair for the Valentine's Dance while Ashli did my makeup. I didn't exactly like being their 'Barbie doll' but I had gotten used to having both women fighting over who needed me to sit still and who needed me to move.

"Ashli," I shrugged. "No one asked me and I'm sure they wouldn't want to go with me anyway." Ashli ordered me to close my eyes so she could apply eyeliner as Jaime instructed me to sit still so she didn't burn me with the straightener.

"That's too bad." Jaime said, and I wanted to choke her because I could hear the pity in her voice. She felt bad for me, and I hated that. Every time it seemed like someone was feeling sorry for me, I wanted to wrap my hands around their neck.

"I'm used to it." I mumbled, sighing as they instructed me to do something else.

"I hate this." Ashli mumbled as we stood in front of the pink backdrop. Jaime had forced us to take photos in front of the large piece of paper covered in hearts and red decorations. I nodded, agreeing with her as I flashed Jaime another fake smile. When she finally let us go it was like music to my ears. I was finally able to escape the horror of getting my photo taken and get to my favorite part of the dance, the music.

The sole reason that I show up to these school dances is so I can listen to the music while I awkwardly sit alone. It was better than waiting around for nothing and sitting at home alone. So, I made my way to a corner where I could hopefully hang out with Ashli and we'd horribly sing along to the music that was playing. Singing is much more fun when you're either passionate about it, or completely suck.

There wasn't much that would go on at the dance. I had a mini panic attack because Dalton Kottmer didn't have his shirt tucked into his jeans, but other than that it was fun I guess. Ashli and I hit a balloon around until she began to get bored and became rather bitchy. She didn't want to do anything so I was kind of stuck with her because there was really no one else to hang out with. And by then I had already lost Allie.

When Kaleigh ran over and told me the bus was here, I was both afraid and eternally grateful. It wasn't normal for me to be both scared and excited, but as I zipped up my coat and walked up the bus steps, I was ready to disappear and have fun. I wasn't going to be sad tonight. I was going to be like my old self again. I knew I could. Or at least, I hoped...