Library of Feelings

Deserted Hopes

A journey on a wasteland, in search of an oasis that can bring me to life. That was my life for so long, I gave up on having those feelings, of thirst and hunger, satisfied. Years passed, not knowing the heat of a warm hug. Instead, the scorching sun tortured me everyday; reminding me of my loneliness. The feelings of powerlessness were always present; wanting to yell my words for help, but no one there to hear them and less to rescue me. I abandoned all my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations... I accepted how weak I was, and decided to stop wandering. My struggles were all in vain. I should remain on the spot, to die alone and stop struggling. Either way, all of my partners left me to wander alone. Why should I try to fight my way, if my destiny was still the same? To perish alone in this deserted wasteland called "Life". I decided to lay on the sand, and be consumed by them accompanied by the loneliness that traveled with me all the time. The days and years passed, and I succumbed to the voracious appetite of the sands to consume those abandoned by God. People came by, only to look and feel sorry for me. I didn't even have the energy to move, or even express my gratitude. Some even wet my tongue with some water, but still left me to die. These travelers only elongated my hellish torture, my unshakable destiny to die alone.

One of the coldest nights I had, sunken almost entirely in the sand. A ray of hope glittered before me. An angel descended on my last moments, pulled me out of the sands, and watered me. Its wings were pure, giving me peace. The water couldn't heal my wounds from all the years of battling against Life, but it did mend my aching heart and my corrupted soul. I drank from the water. No matter how much I drank, the angelic figure gave me more. My thirst was being quenched, and the figure started to take form. Her Wings turned into a scarf; the halo transformed into a turban... The figure of my savior was a beautiful woman, with deep dark eyes that looked like the night above us. But, the sparkling in her eyes made the stars pale in comparison. She had her beautiful face revealed, with her seductive lips calling my name. Her medium-length hair had a pleasant fragrance that even the Gods envied throughout the realms. She extended a plate of food to satisfy my hunger, with

hands smooth as Aphrodite's own robes. Her touch made me the enemy of all the universes, but I couldn't care less about it. Instead, I gazed at such an eminence sat before me and watched me eat. Her delicate eyes stared at me without judgment, pure devotion emanated from that pearly gaze that lifted me up, like the angel I saw before. Eyes that lifted my spirit and carried me to Heaven.

"Eat all you want, I have plenty for you to eat" She said with a soft and sweet voice, while she pulled out more food from the bags she carried.

I ate as much as my body was able to, devouring one plate after another. As I was enjoying the meal I hadn't had for years, she came next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. I was caught unaware, but her delicate face made me feel a different kind of warmth inside; one that I erased and gave up on ages ago. A welcoming warmth , one that didn't care how I look, one that accepted me as the flawed man that I was. She stared at the night sky, and I could see the stars reflected on her charming eyes. I was petrified already, by her medusa gaze. She gave me the blessing of looking at me in the eyes; her lips invited mine to stay, her eyes were pulling my soul from the darkest corners inside of me. This Heaven-sent being just saved my life, and I would gladly give mine for hers. Not a day had gone by, but I couldn't ignore the fact that Cupid shot an arrow and got my heart. As she slowly approached me, a phantom appeared behind me and whispered many thoughts:

"Are you going to let such a Goddess in the flesh, kiss a walking corpse?" her thoughts were also mine... This should be a sin, Life would never give me a blessing like this... "Look at you... Your looks are questionable, and so are your achievements." She kept whispering in my ear, without the goddess noticing her presence...