INSANE

【6】

"C-Can I please talk to my parents?" I asked in the politest tone I could muster up. However, my voice still came out as unsteady. Nurse Elizabeth was working with her hands quickly as she strapped me into the wheelchair tightly. I couldn't remember the last time I walked more than three steps.

She acknowledged my question and then replied in a flat tone. "That's none of your concern right now, Katie. You know how hard it is to reach people."

"I can text her," I suggested trying not to stretch anything. Out of all the things I've learnt from my parents, I cherished just one thing in my current situation. It was to never keep pestering a person once they've let you do one thing. If you do that, the person might take everything back completely. And in this particular situation, Elizabeth might report me to the "doctors." I tried not to think of what would happen then. It made me too scared. "Do... do you know where my phone is?"

Nurse Elizabeth stepped in front of the wheelchair. As I slowly looked up at her face, I realized something was wrong. Very wrong. Elizabeth was giving, shooting me rather, a look nobody ever gave me before. It was in between disgust and confusion. Almost like I was some type of lunatic. Aren't we all lunatics here? "Text?" she inquired slowly, as if pronouncing the word for the first time.

I froze for a few seconds waiting for her to say more. But she didn't, so I nodded. Her eyes were piercing into my eyes as if they were daggers. It was as if I were in the spotlight, but rather than on a stage, in a horror movie. A really terrible horror movie. "Yeah. T-Text..."

Nurse Elizabeth glared at me and shook her head roughy, reaching up to adjust her hat. The hats the nurses wore around here still didn't look quite right. They looked old fashioned like everything else here. "Don't say 'yeah'! Say yes!" she hissed at me, lecturing me. "Are you making up your own words now? Text and Yeah? What will Doctor Harold say this time when I tell him what you've been saying?"

Tears stung the back of my eyeballs but I don't dare cry. Crying in here, in front of a nurse is a death wish. Be careful what you do. Even the slightest mistake can make you seem insane.

But I'm not insane.

I'd always been the sane one of my group of friends. We've done extreme things sometimes, but I was always their stop sign. I always stopped them from going too far.

Instead, I nodded at the nurse, agreeing with everything she says. "I'm sorry."

Elizabeth let out a sigh. "It seems like you aren't doing any better. The medicine I injected you with before seemed to help. But you can't sleep all day long, Katie."

So it wasn't poison.

Not this time it wasn't.

She then focused back on me as she sat down on a little, metal rolling chair in front of me. The nurse seemed to remain a distance from me, making sure she didn't get too close as if I were dangerous. "Now tell me about your family, Katie." she paused. "Actually, I'd like to hear about yourself." Maybe it was because I never visited a psychiatrist before, but unlike any doctor I've been to, Elizabeth wasn't holding a clipboard to document my feelings. Being in an asylum shouldn't the doctors and nurses write down everything since their goal is to stabilize their patients?

I licked my lips, my mouth feeling dry. They rarely give any water, but I'd  gotten used to it overall. I've also gotten used to being tied up so tightly and not being able to move certain limbs. "Uh..." I started obliviously. That sounds rude, I suddenly realized. I quickly started talking again, trying to cover up what I had said. Though I was hoping the nurse didn't hear what I said, I was sure she did. Elizabeth was still staring at me deeply, still staring at me like I was some kind of psychopath.

Is that what I am?

"I'm sixteen," I continued firmly. "I was born in 2001." I paused, pondering on what I could possibly say about myself. Usually I'd hate it when teachers at school would ask us to share things about ourselves, but right now, that's where I begged to be. "I usually go to school. In 10th grade. I-" I was trying my best throughout everything I was saying, and I felt like I was doing alright. But that was before Elizabeth interrupted me, giving me that look again. The same look as before.

"2001?" she asked in an alarmed tone. She then turned toward the metal door, which she probably thought was opened. But it was closed. Not locked, but closed. Elizabeth turned back to me slowly. "School? Women don't go to school, Katie. We work."

Is she talking about herself? Or...all girls? I thought, feeling confused. Women got their rights over fifty years ago. They got freedom, like men had.

But that was when a sickening feeling struck me. A shock wave came over me. I knew the nurse would definitely tell "doctor" Harold about this, but that wasn't the only thing that felt like a blow to the head. That wasn't the only thing that got me feeling like I was about to pass out once again.

Still, she continued. "Perhaps that's why you're acting so deluded, because you went to school. Girls don't belong in school, Katie."

Her words began whirling around me, echoing into my ears. She made me feel as if I were going crazy. I didn't understand a word she was saying, yet she wouldn't stop.

Nurse Elizabeth blinked. "Are you living in the future, Katie? You're saying you weren't born yet?"

I looked straight ahead, unsure what to say. "What?"

Her next words were the words that shocked me the most. "This is 1946, Katie. Not 2001."