Melany Fellington is a young girl who lives in poverty in a changed world. She doesn't have what others have the room to have, but family made what she has more than enough. During substandard times of oppression, an interference threatens her famil...
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(Friday, September 21st) (12:56 a.m.)
Being held as close as possible to her throughout the night, the so loving strength of Eurella's arms never faltered, and her embrace soothed me into such good sleep momentarily, but my heartbreak awoke me from my sleep. Tired, my eyes focused on the glass paned window with white frames on the wall, the quiet roar of the airy wind sweeping upon the window and the night sky spilling into our bedroom through the transparent glass. The warming body held me from behind as her arms unconsciously brought me closer to her, her soft and rhythmic breathing fanning against the skin on my nape while her chest pushed into my back with each breath that she took, the iron pressing of her solidified sharp-cut abs of six reminding me of how close we are, the etches pressing into me more when she brought me even closer, her hot muscular body spooning me in, covering me in a dizzying heat in spite of how tired I was.
Even so, exhaustion dismantled this heat too quickly before it even took its place upon me, a youthful face falling the more I looked through the bedroom window.
One night ago, before we had fallen asleep holding each other, I said that I trusted her, and it is true, that I trust all her actions and all of the words that she wills to come from her lips, that I trust her with every piece of character that I am built with now and the new pieces of me in the future that would be added to me. I trust her so strongly that I am so afraid that she could hurt me just like the world never fails to hurt me every single day of my life. The woman that holds me like I am the source of an unfathomably soft glow in her life has fully gained my selecting and wary trust in the palms of her hands so quickly that I am so terrified of being proven wrong.
My trust is something that could be misplaced, and my trust has never been misplaced. But this is the first time ever that I'm afraid of my mind and spirit being wrong for who these pieces of me chooses to put my trust in. I so desperately don't want to be wrong.
I don't want to get hurt.
She told me that the court tape had been altered, and now I don't know what is true. I don't know if the trial was held in a court. I don't know who the woman in the video that was changed to look like my other half truly was under the delusion of deception. I don't know if my mother is alive, but when the judge and court stated that my mother participated in the highest state offense of drug smuggling, my mind's network of anxious nerves despondently concludes that she was executed by the government, the punishment of death being the only one equal to such a crime.
I also know that Eurella said what happened on the video footage could have been exaggerated to worsen my self-judgment, but my mind can only come to the conclusion that my mother was put to death because of the cruel and true judgment of the tyrannical government that abusively rules over every person that cannot spare the riches to reinforce their abusive practices, the government that is so malevolently unforgiving in all of their judgment. And my mind is certain that the self-judgement within me is right to punish myself, even if some of the events that occurred on the video is exaggerated or untrue, these truths or lies on the footage that my eyes could not see differences between the two.
