Forbidden - A Merthur fic

Chapter 2

Merlin walks into the chambers he shares with Gaius, his shoulders slumped. He walks right past the table, completely ignoring the bowl of soup that had been set in his place. He tugs off his shoes once inside his bedroom, dropping them in the corner with a sigh.

His back and arms ached from the physical labour Arthur had assigned him that day. His ears were still ringing faintly from the clamour in the dining hall from the banquet. He didn't think he'd ever been called to refill drinks more than he had tonight. Wincing, he shrugs off his jacket.

Merlin nearly jumps out of his skin as a voice calls out to him from the main room.

"I left you your favourite soup, Merlin. Aren't you hungry?" Gaius's voice summons Merlin from his room, looking weary. His eyes search the room briefly before finding Gaius seated at his desk, a large book open on the table before him.

"Sorry, I didn't see it." Merlin lies. He had, in fact, seen the soup, and simply decided he didn't have the appetite for it. But he'd eat it to spare Gaius's feelings. He sits down heavily in his chair at the table.

"Whatever is the matter, Merlin? You look more worn out than usual." Gaius removes his reading glasses from his nose to look at Merlin properly.

Merlin pokes his spoon around in his soup briefly before forcing a spoonful into his mouth, mumbling something that sounded remotely like "tired".

Gaius frowns, watching him eat silently for a moment. "I know there's something else bothering you, Merlin. What is it?"

Merlin sticks his spoon in his soup and leaves it there, rubbing his eyes wearily for a moment to buy himself time so he could think of what to tell Gaius. "The feast was awful," he says eventually. "I was running around the hall, pouring wine for fat lords and dukes the whole evening." He wants to stop there, but knows Gaius will only question him further if he doesn't elaborate. "And I'm.....confused." He pinches the bridge of his nose, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

Gaius arcs an eyebrow. "About what?" He can already tell from Merlin's expression that he won't tell him, but he can't help but worry for the boy.

Merlin drops his hands to the table surface, staring into his bowl of soup. He was terribly confused...but there was no way in Camelot he could tell Gaius why, as badly as he might want to. "My...feelings." He clamps his mouth shut, not even intentionally speaking aloud. "I'm.....going to bed." He quickly rises from his chair and exits into his bedroom.

Gaius watches him go, his eyes sharp and worried. Merlin hadn't specified about which feelings he was confused, but Gaius knew. Merlin saying that only confirmed his fears. The old man presses his fingertips to his temples, his mind racing. No one could find out. He could only imagine Uther's reaction if he found out that Merlin had feelings for the Prince.