All We Will Never Know

Chapter 13 - Peyton

Peyton stared at her reflection in the mirror, turning her body every direction, analyzing the angles and crevices that Sam might see of her tonight. Her skin was pale and paper thin, freckles scattered across her shoulders, chest, and arms. She looked like a ghost in the black lace ensemble she had dug out of her underwear drawer. She had bought it for this exact moment; the first time Sam decided to let go of his strict Christian morals. She had accepted his decision to wait, knowing how strong his values were not just for his religion, but for his family in Sweden. She never even brought it up, not after the first time, a few months into their relationship when he had inadvertently shot her down. But this time, Sam had mentioned it on his own. She was not going to disappoint him.

With a sigh, Peyton reached for her cashmere sweater and slid it on top of the lingerie, pulling the shoulder down to reveal a sliver of her skin. She pulled her denim skirt over her thighs, hiking it up a few inches further than normal. Lastly, she slipped on her battered Converse high-tops and examined her reflection again.

Alexis and Kassidy would surely verbate Peyton for her choice of shoe, but she didn't care. She wanted to at least be comfortable if she would have to fake smiles and giggles in front of the ever-judgemental crowd at the Tate party tonight, that is, until Sam showed up and noticed her. He wouldn't care what shoes she was wearing. She knew that he would be far too invested in her legs.

Her leftover curls from this morning were falling flat, but a quick brush through with her fingers left them as soft, gentle waves. Perfect, effortless. That was what she was going for. She didn't want anyone to suspect anything different, especially not her friends. They all knew how long she had been waiting for Sam to come to this decision. But she also knew that if they were to make a scene, to poke fun at him before he followed through, there was a chance he never would. Sam was the type of guy who wanted their love life to remain that way--theirs. Peyton felt bad enough blurting most of the previous dirty details--as dirty as it got--to her friends, but this one time, she planned on keeping it a secret. She wasn't a virgin, that much was clear. She had already wasted her innocence on a hot older guy when she was too young to realize what she was doing. To keep the name of her star-crossed lover a secret, Peyton told her friends that she had a drunken, consensual one-night stand with an out of town guy at one of their first Tate parties and that she didn't remember his name. It was the worst lie she ever told them, however, she knew it was for the better. But since her love affair with Darian, Peyton had been celibate, instead deciding to focus on her caring, intimate, yet sexless relationship with Sam Sjorstrom.

Ugh, speaking of Darian. She failed to think about the fact that he would most likely be at the party tonight. He was, after all, best friends with several of the other former Everwood graduates that generally appeared at these events. She just hoped, for the love of God, that Eric or Sam didn't notice the tension between them. She would hate for a secret of this magnitude to wiggle its way out on such a monumental night.

"Hey, Pudge?" The sound of her brother's hideous nickname and a strong knock on the door nearly made Peyton jump out of her skin.

"Come in," she said quickly. She hated when Eric called her Pudge, but he had been doing so since they were younger. He always said it was hilarious because of the irony; considering Peyton was the absolute opposite of "pudgy." However, they had come to the agreement that Eric would never call her Pudge in public, as long as she never brought up his Yu-Gi-Oh! collection (which he still kept in his bedroom, at 21 years old).

Her door opened, and Eric stepped through, gently shutting it behind him. Whatever he was in here for must have been private, or he would have left it wide open like he did every other door and cabinet in the house--to their mother's obvious dismay.