Until We Burn | Dr Who

Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen: Ashes to Ashes

The force of the Time Lords' disappearance is enough to knock us off balance. When I come to, I lie beside the Doctor. In an instant, I am by his side, pulling him into my lap. He blinks up at me. "I'm alive."

"You are," I laugh through my tears. My hand traces his face, soothing his injuries. I kiss his forehead.

"I'm still alive." He slowly leans into our embrace, his arms wrapping around me.

I don't care how tight he holds me. I don't care about anything. The Gods have answered my prayers and he is here with me, in my arms where he belongs.

"I love you."

His confession catches me by surprise at first. My smile is instantaneous. It's as if my heart might melt. Still sobbing through my laughter, I shower his face with kisses, bringing my lips to his. "Oh, Doctor. My wonderful Doctor. I love you, too. I always have."

Another kiss is broken by his relieved gasp, "I'm alive."

Then they come. Our peace shatters.

Four knocks.

We both freeze. Our smiles falter. Even our hearts, I feel, stop at the sound.

They come again. And again. Louder, this time. Four knocks.

Wilf waves shyly, still locked inside the radiation chamber. "They've gone, then? Good-oh. If you could let me out..."

His hands fall away from me. "Yeah."

"Only, this thing seems to be making a bit of a noise."

He stands. I try to beg him to stay but no words come. He has to pry me off. Even then, I try to pull him back. I try to keep him with me. Clearing his throat, he lets his fingers slip through mine, approaching. "The Master left the nuclear bolt running. It's gone into overload."

"And that's bad, is it?"

"No... 'cause all the excess radiation gets vented inside there. Vinvocci glass. Contains it. All five hundred thousand rads about to flood that thing."

The man chuckles apprehensively. "Well, you'd better let me out, then."

He swallows thickly. "Except it's gone critical. Touch one control and it floods." Taking the sonic from his pocket, he weakly offers it for him to see as he adds, "Even this would set it off."

Wilf is quiet for a moment. His eyes drift over the controls. "I'm sorry," he finally says. "Look, just leave me."

Another moment passes. The Doctor forces a half-hearted laugh. "All right, then, I will. 'Cause you had to go in there, didn't you? You had to go and get stuck, oh, yes! 'Cause that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me all this time."

"Oh, really, just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time."

Helpless, all I can do is watch as terror turns into rage. "Well, exactly. Look at you. Not remotely important. But me... I could do so much more. So much more!" He screams at the heavens, beating a fist against his chest. My heart aches to comfort him but my body remains still yet again, petrified.

He gives up just as quickly, as if knowing that no gods can help him now. "But this is what I get," he realises, bracing himself against the Master's machine. "My reward. But it's not fair!" With another yell, he swipes papers and equipment from atop it. They clatter onto the floor.

The noise wakes something in him. It shocks him out of his anger. He sighs. "Lived too long."

His words are enough to wake me, too. Panicked, I block his path as he starts to approach the chamber. "No. Doctor, no." Pushes turn to shoves. He takes each frantic blow without a flinch as I try to keep him at bay, over and over. "No, you can't. I'll do it. Okay? I'll do it, I'll go in. Please. Please, let me do it. I'm not afraid. I'm— I'm not—"