Forgotten Lover (parentlock/johnlock)

Part 2

The next few weeks I started to talk to Mary a lot and we even went on a few dates. It was nice, to have someone who I could talk to and give fresh memories about Sherlock, she often told me that she felt like us three had all be friends for a long time. Some nights I went home worried incase she was using this for something and I'd said to much, but the more time I spent with her, the more I trusted her and enjoyed her company. It got to the point when we first started dating, and it had been exactly 2 years since Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof. I wasn't planning on going to his grave, I'd rather go to 221b and sit in our chairs again. But Mary dragged me along and it was only fair that she came with me. She let me have my alone time.

M- I'm right over here if you need me, I might go and visit my nana, she's just up there

I nodded and turned to the headstone that was now Sherlock.

J- you're not just a headstone

I sighed.

J- I'm speaking to a piece of marble. Um... well yeah, I miss you. It's weird, not having you here. I've tried to solve some cases that I've seen in the papers while I've been locked up, couldn't really solve anything. That's why we need you here Sherlock. Mrs Hudson kept your... our flat, and your equipment and um...

I didn't know what else to say, I run through everything that had happened, and something lit a fuse inside of me.

J- you know what, you left me with a conversation about how you were a fake, you didn't even explain! You've left me with so many questions that now I don't even know who you are anymore. I don't believe anything you said but what am I supposed to do with this stupid theory I have about you lying to me? How's it going to help me with you not being here? Sherlock, you complete and utter d*ckhead

And I was laughing again, and I was imagining him smirking at me from under his curls. I wandered over, closer to the headstone and patted it awkwardly, just like I'd done at his funeral. That felt like yesterday, and I couldn't believe how long I'd actually locked myself away in my apartment.

J- you'd think I was pathetic, if you saw me, locked myself away in my apartment for nearly 2 years because I couldn't handle seeing the world without you here. Molly tried to get me to go to Barts, but I couldn't go, not looking up at the roof and seeing you fall from it again and again, just like in my nightmares. Oh yeah, you caused them too. I don't even know why I'm talking to a piece of stone with your name on it, but I want you to know, if you can hear me, I miss you

S- thank you

I swear I heard his voice, but it was just my imagination. Hallucinations, that's another thing to add to the list of things he'd caused. I see him everywhere I turn, in every cafe, I see him ordering something at the counter. In restaurants, I match him to the waiters, who look like him but in a disguise. I heard a crunch on the ground behind me, which pulled me out of my thoughts.

M- are you okay?

I nodded to the grave and turned towards Mary, who grabbed my hand.

M- did you get everything off your chest?

J- sometimes I don't know if you're treating me like a client or being nice

She punched my shoulder smiling.

M- hey, I'm always nice!

Mary could see I was down because of the day, so she offered to take me out to dinner. I said maybe later, but I wanted to visit Mrs Hudson first. Turns out Mrs Hudson was already occupied, new lighting was being fitted in the hallway so I couldn't really talk to her in private and have a little remembrance of Sherlock. She told me she didn't know when they would be finished, but maybe I could visit her tomorrow and we'd talk about it then. But it wasn't going to be important tomorrow, we needed to talk today, she understood my urgency and let me into her flat.