Forgotten Lover (parentlock/johnlock)

Part 5

Mary had started to get a bit bored of me talking about Sherlock and I went into another depression stage when I got rejected from another job that I thought I was going to get and was really excited about. Mary started to get angry with me sitting here not doing anything, not even helping out with Hamish. I honestly felt guilty, but I couldn't move. It got to the point when Mary thought it would be best if I left for a few days, so I wasn't stinking out the house. I think she mean't it in a lighthearted way but I took it seriously and left to my only real home, 221b Baker Street. Mrs Hudson was banging downstairs when I woke up the next morning, and I climbed out of his bed and walked downstairs. It was the middle of the night when I left for 'my little vacation', I just came straight upstairs and ended up in Sherlocks bed. I think it was because it still smelled of him a little if I stuck my head in the pillow far enough.

MH- John! What are you doing here?

J- I um...-

MH- come in?

I nodded and followed her inside.

J- M-Mary kicked me out for a few days... because I went like I went when... he first died

She sighed and rubbed my shoulder.

MH- I'm sure Mary is missing you like you're missing her and I'm sure Hamish is missing you just as much, in fact he might be crying for his daddy right now

J- I-Is it horrible that I don't miss Mary?

MH- w-what? I'm sure you're don't mean it

Tears started rolling down my face.

J- I-I just want Sherlock back

MH- me too John, me too

She pulled me close and held me tightly.

MH- I think you should go and talk to Mary about how you feel, she's an understanding woman

I sighed but walked home, not before stopping at the graveyard. I'd been coming here a lot recently, every time I got rejected from a job, I found myself here, on the same bench infront of his grave. I'd had that fitted in front of his grave because of how much I was coming. It's funny because, when Sherlock was here, I hardly told him anything, because I knew he didn't care, but now, at least two times a week, I find myself talking to him about everything. Just anything that came to mind, I talked. In my head, he was answering me. The more I'd started to come here, the less it was weird and the words just flew off my tongue. Then I took a slow journey home. The door was opened my Mary and Hamish was crying inside.

M- nice of you to show

She rolled her eyes and let me in. I walked over to Hamish and held him in my arms. He stopped crying, just like the first time I'd ever held him, I had a charm as Mrs Hudson had called it.

J- Mary I'm sorry

Her face softened from her hard stare.

M- no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so hard on you. You've lost a dear friend and taking big steps like this-

She gestured towards the now sleeping Hamish in my arms.

M- -without him must be very difficult for you

I smiled at her and she kissed my cheek.

M- just don't go running off again mister

And then we were fine again, and the next few years were easier, watching Hamish start school.