You Are My Heartbreaker

Chapter 23

I can't believe it. I'm sitting in my room staring at the four walls as I lie on my bed reminiscing about what Joe said about Nick's dark days.

"He shut himself out from our world for two years after graduation, no body knew why. He didn't let us contact him or even just a call. Occasionally, like every 5 months he wrote to us about college life and all but that's it. It was the second year when I went to visit him that saw his condition. He was seeing a therapist at that time, he had an addiction that we didn't know of as a family. He was ashamed to come front, I had to go and find out from the therapist. He had an addiction to meth. He confessed that he was drugged during frosh week and that was when he couldn't handle it, he was addicted and he knew it was no good so he went to see a therapist. After his sessions were over, he finally came home and confronted to the family. Man, my mom was mortified, she was happy we was getting back to himself, she didn't see him breakdown like me. At times Nick had the moodswings, and of course it was difficult for him to ditch his drugs. We thought a distraction would help him. And that was love. I met Olivia at a party, we had a one night stand but after I realized she wasn't my type, I introduced her to Nick. They... well they hit it off pretty quick. And I sort of had to indirectly introduce them, it was a complete set up with the paps and all."

Wow thinking back all this, I can't believe that while I've holding the grudge for the past years, Nick has been through hell and back. I almost felt guilty for not forgiving him, but like I said, I almost.

But that was only because I understand how much he's been through with Olivia. I would understand why he doesn't want me to ruin it for them by telling her about our relationship.

Even if I don't tell her, she will find out anyways. This is a town where people gossip. Once the word is out it's like a broken telephone. Somehow I am always at the end of the line to pick up what's going on.

Ugh I don't want to think about him no more. I turned the lights off and fell asleep. It was tiring to constantly remind myself of him. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

--

I was assigned the duty of a babysitter for the day while my sister and Adam took the day off on a date. They dropped off the two boys this morning, I was still sleeping and so were the boys. I took them to my room and laid them on the bed while I took the couch. 

I'm honestly a terrible sleeper, once I am awaken, I cannot fall back asleep. I walked to my dad's office and picked out a law book to read. See how bored I am?

Reading through some of his journals were actually getting me interested in Law. He wrote down some pretty exquisite cases he's had, from his journeys in Boston, Seattle, and to a small town in North Carolina. The cases ranged from divorce cases to some very simple marijuana ones.

Not long after reading half of his journal I was putting it back on the shelf when a letter fell out from one of his dustiest books. Which to be honest, half his shelf is filled with dust. He only reads them, barely keeps a good maintenance on them.

The letter was just as dusty.

I wanted to put it back but something urged me to open it. It was an old rusty letter that you would expect in the movies. I opened up the fancy letter than was written in fine cursive.

Seems like it was written by a woman. 

Dear Brian,

My love, it's November, the snow has just begun to fall here in Chicago. Remember your visit here last winter? It was my first time seeing you outside of campus. And you were the first man ever to have taken such care of me when I'm at my worst. It was the first time that I ever felt loved. I have been in and out of many relationships but never once had I felt what you've given me, courage and strength. My life may have been blessed by parents who are well-known in the business world that are able to give me an eternity of wealth but one thing they never gave me was love. But you did. I am more than gracious for that. At first I believed my feelings towards you was a type of father and daughter love, but the longer time spent together I have developed new feelings towards you. These feelings grew deeper each day, our endless meetings after lectures had me understand that it was not a one sided love. This year has been the greatest in my life. You have taught me the true way to love, the courage to speak up when necessary and the right time to stand up for myself. But I feel like all your hardwork in building me this way has all tumbled down the day I saw your wife come in with your beautiful daughter. She really is beautiful. She has all your features and her mother's beautiful eyes. They were fearless.

While in that lecture that day, I really couldn't handle it. My heart raced faster than the speed of light. The moment she looked at me, I felt like she saw through me. Love shouldn't be this hard Brian. I was so frustrated, angry with you, angry with me and most of all, hurt by you. Why did you have to lie to me? I did not know you had a family. I didn't understand your reasons--excuses. I gave you my everything and you took advantage of it. The part I'm most angry about is that I fought with my parents for our love, they said you were too old for me, I disagreed. Our 21 years difference didn't matter to me, all that did was your love towards me. But clearly it didn't matter to you. 

An abortion was what you told me on the day I told you the news. You cut ties with me and when you saw me on the street you pretended like we were strangers. Why Brian? Why is it that you leave me at my worst.  I gave up my world for you. All that I have to say now is that this is MY official break up letter to you. And before my final goodbye, I want you to know I gave birth to MY beautiful daughter Renee Margot Kennedy. You will never have the chance to meet her in this life, because her mother will never forgive you.

Yours Truly,
Janese P. Kennedy

What. The. Fuck.

Is this a letter to prove my dad's affair? I look at the date my hand began to shake vigorously. How can my mother forgive him? Not only was he so heartless to cheat on her, but he tried forcing his student to abort the baby for him. 

I can't believe my father could be as heartless as this. I can't believe my mother chose to stay with him instead of leaving him. He's a true jackass. A true shame to the male population on earth.

I searched the entire shelf for any more letters.There were a few more that I found that were written before this one. It was truly the last one. I know I shouldn't have gone through all these letters, but how is it that no one ever discovered these? How could he even leave it out on his law shelf? The shelf that my mom would go and look through in her desperate needs?

He fucked over with all our lives from that point on.

---

Hey my wonderful readers!

Sorry it took me so long for the update, I've been busy with family visits. However, this chapter sucks a bit although it is the beginning to some new drama. Thanks for your precious time to read this and just being such loyal readers.

Love ya'll keep voting and supporting, I'll try to do better with the updates! New stories on the way for the summer! ❤