You Are My Heartbreaker

Chapter 34

Coming to the beach house was a mistake. Especially having Nick tag along. Last night around 2AM I notice his phone constantly lighting up. I remember reaching over to grab it and seeing that 3 unread texts from Olivia. I know I shouldn't be checking his stuff, given that we are nothing but partners in crime. A very serious crime.

When I unlocked the phone her messages popped to the screen immediately. 

Denise was wondering what time you'll be home.

Is everything alright with Demi and Joe now?

I miss you :* 

Last message came with a kissy emoji too. I locked the phone and went back to bed. I was disgusted with myself. 

I ran away from home because my dad cheated and I was angry at him for that, and here I am doing exactly what he did. I no longer had any rights to be angry with him. Maybe my mom yes, because she took the situation in the cruelest inhumane way possible.

But I'm no better than my father at this point.

I was perhaps equal with the woman he slept with. Ruining a family is equal to ruining a beautiful relationship. I resented myself at this point. 

Olivia is the type that is so delicate and sweet, I know if she finds out about this she will be ten times more heartbroken than I ever was about my breakup with Nick in the past. She would probably be brooding for a year.

This will scar her life. It may sound serious, but it's true. She will have her guards up for her future relationships and she will have trust issues. It's taunting but it's true.

This is unforgivable of us.

I felt dirty when Nick was kissing my shoulder this morning. His touch, our skinship made me want to cry. This is a broken law. 

"Did you sleep?" he asked when I turned to face him.

I nodded but remained silent. He stared at me and I stared at him. No body spoke for a good 3 minutes perhaps until he reached over to my cheek, tenderly running his thumb from the vertex of my nose down to my cheek. His hands were cold and made me shiver and shut my eyes.

He moved forward and kissed my lips. His lips were soft as it moved around mine, slowly pressing into my bones as he deepened the kiss. It scared me to death that he is making another move.

He pulled away and stared at me with eyes that are stoked, when I didn't kiss back.

"Are you regretting?" he asked, of course I was asshole, I thought. 

I swallowed the ball of saliva stuck in my trachea, "I..." staring into his eyes right now already weakened me. I don't want to disappoint him but yes Nick, I'm regretting having sex with you, was that what somebody would've wanted to hear after having sex?

No.

"I don't regret it," I lied, looking away from his eyes for a minute, "I'm just--It's not the right thing to do. I ran away from my family because my dad cheated. And here I am doing no better than him."

It made him speechless.

"I know it isn't what you wanted to hear, but this we aren't teenagers anymore. We don't have raging hormones that we cannot control," I said.

"This is different though... I'm going to break up with her as soon as we go back," he was determined but I can't trust his words. I know that when he goes back this is not what will happen. He wouldn't have the heart to break up with her.

"I don't want you to break up with," I said, putting emphasis on the don't.

"But this isn't just you, it's my problem and I will break up with her," Nick argued, he sat up and I sat up as well so we cant talk properly. Or yell properly since the volume of whispers and mumbles became a loud roar each time a word comes out.