Grey and Ocean's Fate | JenLisa

Chapter 26

Tumbled sheets and a glass of water were the first things I met in the early morning, along with the headache that didn't seem at all to exhaust. I wandered the apartment, alone and with a sense of loss running through my mind. I spent almost all morning in recuperation of a hangover while pulling apart every moment from last night.

I stood in the kitchen, making my breakfast like I had done every other day, but as I poured the coffee into my colorful mug, a single nagging thought about a single person persisted until I set down the mug and gave in to the defeat. I rubbed my eyes endlessly until weirdly shaped colors and figures distorted my vision.

I would refuse to give in to the fact that I had felt something for Lisa. I was convinced of every reason to hate her; it was easy to. However, there was a small part of me that really wanted to kiss her again. To feel, maybe just for a single moment, the tenderness of her lips placed on mine. To just feel that spark once more.

I can't do this to myself.

I sigh and pick up my mug again, taking the entirety of what was left of the drink in a single cup.

I dragged myself into my room and shut the door behind me. I needed to keep myself busy; to do anything that could distract me from thinking of things that I didn't need to be thinking of. It was absurd, not to mention pathetic to look at her in any other way than the arrogant asshole she was.

Just because she was here last night doesn't change anything. I reminded myself.

For the next couple of hours, I listened to my playlists and sat at my desk doing as much studying as I could fit in. Berkeley wasn't going to wait for anyone, and I was not going to fall behind so I put my head down and let my fingertips run along the keyboard without control.

Until the clock struck two, I sat in the same position: a pen in my mouth and three textbooks surrounding me. I wouldn't have even bothered to look at the clock if it weren't for my phone ringing so loudly and bringing me up from what I was so concentrated on.

I swiveled around in my chair and reached over to my phone laying face down on my covers. I didn't recognize the number but I slid my finger across the screen anyway, and held it to my ear after taking out my ear buds.

"Hi, Jennie." It was Kai.

"Hey," I smiled, putting down the pen beside my computer.

"I can't talk much right now but I wanted to let you know that the library is expecting a call from you. They want to give you a bit of information on your job and go over some things with you, so I'll pass you the number, okay?"

"Absolutely! That sounds great. Thanks." I clench my hand with enthusiasm.

"Great," He said after speaking with a light tone. "I'll talk to you soon, then."

Soon I got a message with a phone number attached.

I filled in the digits and the phone rang at least a few times before someone picked it up. On the first ring, I encounter an older man, low-pitched with quite a thick British accent.

"For the love of God, Karen, stop calling this number! I have told you numerous times that this weekend I do not want to see you! I want to sit alone, in my underwear, eating nothing but a Romano Macaroni Grill's Mama's Trio while watching a heavily criticized movie that I know you will hate! I do not want to spend what is left of my very exciting life eating you out like some sort of sleazy-"

I cut the call before he could finish the sentence. I looked at the number I called making absolutely sure that I hadn't accidentally missed a number, and surely enough when I checked, I hadn't. I let out a laugh that was covered by my hands. Wide-eyes and confused, I called the number and placed it to my ear hoping to hear someone different. But I didn't.

"Hello. How may I help you?" The same voice, the same man, the same accent, except now he spoke with ease and tranquility.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello. May I ask who I am speaking to?"

"My name is Jennie Ruby Jane Kim..." Silence. "I- I have a friend named Kai who works there and told me you were waiting for a call of mine?" I purse my lips together awaiting his response.

A little bit of what seemed to be ruffling of pages, the man started again. "Ah, yes, Miss Kim. I have a posted note here saying something about your... internship!" He takes a long pause. "These letters are so bloody small! Give me a moment, please... Kate! Kate, what the hell does this say? Oh... oh right, thank you." Another pause, this one shorter. "Miss Kim, are you still there?"

"Yes,"

"Good. Now, according to this poorly written piece of paper, you will be joining us at the library as a clerk in a few weeks. Would this be correct?"

"Y-yes!" I say, a little too excited.

"Lovely! Well, that's about it..."

"Are you sure?"

"No," Another pause. "I think I may have missed the smaller letters on the back of this despicable thing. Whoever wrote this really does have horrible handwriting..." He hummed to himself. "It says here to mention it's got good pay... Hah! Aren't you lucky!" He chuckled deeply. "Anyway, it also mentions that I should give you a warm welcome, so... welcome!" He makes another quick pause with a squeaky exhale. "Be prepared for what possibly be the most boring and wasted hours of your life. Cheerio, dear!" And the line terminated.

That wasn't exactly what I expected... I laughed.

Then suddenly, I realized that I just got my first job. A smile spread throughout my entire face stayed there as I threw my hands in the air in celebration. The money problems might have probably been, to some extent, solved for now, and for the first time in a while I felt like I was going to be okay on my own. I felt that for once, I could do things without having to worry about my mother and what would happen to her.

The first thing I did was pick up my phone and leave a message for Kai, thanking him for how he's helped me out for the hundredth time. And after the detailed message, I leave a separate message for my mother. Then, I sit back down on my chair and somewhat continue to study with spurts of excitement breaking my concentration here and there.

Time appeared to go slower during my next readings, but in reality it hadn't. I looked at the clock, reminding myself that an early night might be enough to prepare me for the hurl of events that waited for me the next day.

Not only would I have to see my father again, but I would also have to see Jay and for the first time, meet Barbara. A part of me dreaded to go, it almost begged me not to. The other part of me wanted to go as soon as possible. I mean, if the dinner went well, a lot of things could change for me; a lot of things that I used to dream for.

I tried not to make my hopes high in case it turned out badly. I didn't want to hope that they might accept me and then they slam the door on my face because I didn't use the right napkin to wipe my mouth. I didn't know what they were like and so I thought about all of the things that could go wrong while I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling where it was lit up by the soft glow of the moon.

True to my thought, I fell asleep thinking. And I woke up the same.

Yesterday's headache was long gone, just a bad, fading memory at that point in time. I spent the morning catching up on some more schoolwork and avoiding the tight knot in my stomach. It was about the same, or worse than the day I met my father. My head spun in all kinds of directions yet, it never managed to freeze time like I maybe thought it would. As foolish as that sounded...

By the time I had to get ready, I had lost count of how many times I tried greeting Barbara in my head. I tried softer ones, confident tones and everything in between, but no matter how I said it, it always turned out wrong. I couldn't quite point on the how or why.

When I eventually managed to decide on an outfit, I slid into a pair of white-laced shoes with my light summer dress. It wasn't at the same level of elegance as the one I wore to Taehyung's house, this was more casual and comfortable since it was family, although it did no justice for my shaky breaths.

I made it down the apartment building stairs and clicked myself into the seatbelt of my car. I gripped the steering wheel with two hands and took a much-needed breath, then followed to set out onto the road, the GPS take me where the blue line crossed paths with the colorless, grey ones.