Through It All(PTX)

5-No Cheating

Avi POV

"Avi c'mon we start tour today!" Kevin yelled into my room.
"I think I'll just stay home..."
"No. You are not skipping this." Kevin grabbed me by my arm and I winced when he collided with my cuts.
"Um Avi, are you okay?" Kevin released me and looked at me weirdly.
"Yeah, I just slept on my arm weirdly." Kevin lifted up my arm and examined it.
"Avi..." His eyes grew sympathetic and he sat down on the bed next to me.

"You can't kept doing this to yourself."
"I can do whatever I want Kevin. It was just a one-time thing anyways."
"As long as you promise to not do it again."
"Whatever Kevin." I know I won't stop. Why stop when you've found the perfect solution?
"Be out in 10 minutes." Kevin left me room, I have just enough time to escape. I started packing my things when the door opened, again.

"Avi! Hurry up." Brinley said excitedly.
"Why don't you go bother Scott?"
"What do you mean?" She flipped her hair.
"I know what you're doing with him."
"I would never."
"So if you'd please just leave because I never want to see you again."
"I can ruin you."
"Don't you think I can do the same? I'll tell the media that we broke up because you couldn't keep your hands off my friends." I huffed.
"You wouldn't."
"But I would, Brinley. Don't test me. We're over."
"I guess I'll have to break off our little deal than." She smirked.
"What little deal?"
"Well I made a promise to this guy. You probably know him- he goes by Charlie." As in Mitch's ex?
"Did you cheat on me with him too?"
"No, I told him that I'd help him get revenge on Mitch if you and I ever broke up."
"What the hell Brinley! Raping him wasn't enough? Why are you dragging him into this?"
"So you'll stay with me?" Completely ignoring me...
"No- I'm asking you why Mitch is involved!"
"So you'd rather him get hurt than be with me." She wiped and invisible tear from her eye.
"Alright fine."
"Good choice. Be ready in 5." She turned on her heel and walked out, that bitch.

Now I'm stuck with the manipulator all because I don't want Mitch to get hurt? All respect I've ever had for her left the second she walked out that door. I don't even love her anymore. Weird how quickly things change when lives are being threatened...

I grabbed my suitcase and dragged myself to the tour bus. I felt Kevin's eyes watch my every move. He's probably making sure I won't inflict anymore pain on myself. But he can't stop the voices screaming in my head. I'm almost six feet under already.

"Okay guys, this ride should take about three hours! I hope you're all excited to kick off the second leg of the world tour!" Our manager smiled likes there's not a single worry in the world. What I would kill to feel like that again...

Mitch approached me, "Should I tell them?"
"About Charlie?" He nodded slowly.
"Only if you're comfortable with it." I said.
"I just want to get it off my chest... Um guys can you meet by the couch." He called slightly louder.

"So I never really told you about that night when I raced out of the club. Basically, I ran into my ex-boyfriend, Charlie." Kirstie's eyes widened and Scott hands formed fists. "At first he was nice and welcoming but then he started becoming really touchy and rough. He... uh... he... kind of... uh... raped me." Even Brinley appeared shocked- did she not know? Did she even hear anything I said?

Everyone's dramatic reactions allowed me to slip out into the bathroom. I pulled out the razor. Sorry Kevin.

They never loved you.
They didn't even notice you left.
She's only dating you for the publicity.
Did you really believe anyone would want to be with a mess like you?
Everyone would be better off without you.

I tried to fight off the voices but found myself bleeding instead. Again and again. It became addicting and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop. I put the razor down, satisfied at the pretty lines I've created. It's like art that remains forever. A tattoo of scars. I hid the razor away and pulled my sleeve over my cuts. I will make sure no one finds out. I don't need to draw anymore attention to myself.

***5 hours later***

We had a small meet and great before the concert in New Hampshire. I aimlessly signed poster after poster, giving only fake smiles. I can't go on like this. I watched as the rest of Pentatonix hugged fans and took pictures but I just wanted to disappear.
"Hi Avi!" A boy who appeared to be about seven years old approached me.
"hello."
"I saw you performing on the street back in New York and I told my mom I had to meet you. I want to be just like you when I'm older." I hope to god he's not like me when he's older. I lightly smiled at him and directed him down to Scott.

"Fans are going to start complaining that you aren't interacting with them." Scott whispered into my ear. What perfect advice from the guy who tried to get with my girlfriend.
"You know what Scott. I'm done with you." I whispered yelled.
"You're done with me?" He said in his annoying voice.
"First you try to correct me on a problem that doesn't exist! Then you f**king make out with my girlfriend." I clap my hand over my mouth. I was not supposed to say that. Especially not infront of fans and the media. Scott sat with wide eyes.

The next fan walked up, "Did Brinley cheat on you with Scott? Is it true?" She asked me.
"No, Brinley and Avi are very happy. No cheating has ever occurred." Scott butted in. "Right, Avi?"
"right..."

A/N: I wanted to take some time because I have a really important message. If you are feeling lost or depressed or suicidal, it will get better. There are people who love you and are willing to help you in your time of need. Please tell someone what's wrong- it will probably help you feel a little better anyways. Please, please, please don't resort to stopping the problem completely by killing yourself. How will you ever get better if you don't give yourself a chance? It might take awhile but give yourself the time to get better. You are worth it and I will always be here for you.Sometimes life gets hard but it will get better, I promise. Hang in there. I believe in you.