The Angels We Love

Eternity in Your Eyes

It was never the best feeling in the world, but at times it came pretty damn close. Even years later when everything had changed in every respect, and the feelings were completely gone, my eyes managed to meet yours and honey, I almost let myself believe I loved you again.

But I had to remember that my idea of you was long forgotten, that my heart belonged wholly to another although the feelings were not returned. The feeling of rejection was so commonplace to me, I had lost the belief that anything else could ever become a reality to me; which is why I found solace in your eyes, why I struggled to look away. I wanted you to be the person that loved me, the one that made me feel a million things at once while looking at me like nothing else mattered, because if I imagined it at the time it was still a nice memory. Now, with the truth that I hadn't smiled honestly in a year -since you left- I was vulnerable. I thought of all the little moments we shared, and while they were tantamount to nothing in comparison to what I shared with him, what I wanted from him, I let myself go to the place where you were the one giving me these things.

I thought all this regardless of reality, even though my heart was his years before I met you, even though you gave me more than I could ask for, even though every last one of our memories now struggles to survive as something repressed and long forgotten, I haven't forgotten. I don't let go easily, and although I have no desire to reconcile any sort of relationship with you, I can't pretend there was nothing between us; at one time.

But now is a different time, and I must avert my eyes and carry on.