Cut it away

1

y/n never thought about it, it never really occurred to them that this game they're playing with their life just to feel something could actually be their death one day. Starting this new school year would mean it's the second year of playing that game. They look to their arm, covered in bandages, at the beginning by their wrist and at the end by their elbow some scars peak trough. Even when they thought they was done playing the game, something stupid happens and they play it again, again and again and again. They never understood why they started it, but what they did know: when they do it, their mind becomes quit, and they starts to feel something or nothing at all. In just an hour they have to leave for school, they're actually excited. Not necessarily for the lessons, more so for their friends. Alex and zayne, the two who are almost always by their side. All from a different house but since day one from year one friends. They smile slightly, they can remember the face of professor McGonagall after the first year and their last detention. It was like she recognised something, and she had said to them that she hoped they would never be like them... they never really understood what she meant...but by their third year it didn't matter...they had turned to be almost exactly like them. They also never understood who the professor had meant, but by the way she had said it it was a huge compliment. And just like all friendships they had fights...and most of the time Zayne would be in the middle of it. Because they and Alex never ever let each other win...but then that potter boy would do something stupid and they of course helped. That's what friends are for right? Even when their fake, but it did bring them together once again...Yet after everything, every fun little thing, somethings can't or won't change: like some family members you wished never existed, or that one friend group at school that bullies you, or that one teacher absolutely hating you for you don't even know why, or simply your mind. Yea, their mind caused them a lot of trouble. Just like some people in their house. But when it becomes all to much their little game keeps them saint. "Y/N?! ARE YOU READY?! WE ARE LEAVING IN 5 MINUTES!" their mother yells from down stairs. They sigh and get up. 5 minutes...meaning 30 minutes till they hug their mother goodbye for yet another year of Hogwarts. Meaning 45 minutes till they hug Alex and Zayne and around 12 hours till they reach Hogwarts. They grab their trunk and bag and walk out of their room. They never expected to reach this new school year... they walk down the stairs and when they reach the hallway they put their trunk down and walk in the living room, they smile to their  mother "I'm ready...are you?". Their mother looks up and nods, "I'm always ready...Seeing the Hogwarts express is magical." "Yea it is" they smile. Their mother gets up and walks to the hallway, "I'm going to the toilet...I'm advising you to go as well" y/n laughs "Yea that's a good idea".

"So y/n, I don't want any letters this year saying you pranked Professor McGonagall, that poor woman has been through enough" their mother smiles whiles she turns the steering wheel to the right. "Well...i'll try...but Snape will get pink hair this year...we have tried that for almost 3 years and we finally perfected the spell" they laugh "we tried it on Alex and it stuck!" Their mother laughs "you guys are going to get months worth of detention..." "ah we know...and wanna know the best part?" "Tell me" their mother drives past a red light. "we don't care" y/n holds up their hand. They smile. Their mother laughs. This time the car ride is fun, unexpectedly fun. "So,...your going to keep an eye on your brother? He has to repeat second year..." their  mothers looks at them  "he could really use some help". Y/n nods, "of course I'm doing that...he's travelling with his friends to the train right?" Their mother nods while she parks the car. "Yea.... With Hayden if I'm right" "oh I thought they were fighting" she opens the door. "Oh well you'll find out soon enough" her mother steps out. Y/n nods. Their mom is right. Their brother and his friends...they can't keep up with all the fights and friendships and relationships and ...basically all his stuff. Maybe because he's not in the same house as them. Or simply because they only hang out when he needs their help. They grab their trunk and their mother closes the car trunk door. Quietly they walk to the station. A lot of muggles travel and sometimes you'll see a young witch or wizard entering the station. They don't really know what they're  feeling. They're  a bit numb from the little game they played just a day before. "Alright are you ready y/n..." their mother points to the wall between platform 9 and 10...the way they enter the secret platform. "Yea...let's walk trough it" their mother nods. They hold eachothers hand. Y/n leads their mother trough the wall, and when they are trough it they see the familiar platform, a hugs sign says: platform 9 3/4. And at the front of the huge red train it says: Hogwarts express. They look over to their mother who smiles back. "So this will be our goodbye for this year". Y/n nods. they walk to a wall, right before an entrance of the train. Their mother wraps an arm around them y/n feels uncomfortable...they don't know how to react they slowly hug back and their mother whispers: "I put some extra money in your bag...keep safe and don't be afraid to stand up for what is right....you know about what happened...he's back...and that means he will also come back, your strong, so strong my dear." Y/n feels a sort lump coming to existence in their throat. They wrap their arms a bit more around their mother and whisper back: "I know mum...keep yourself safe...I'll try to write every week, thank you for the extra money" "I love you y/n....stay strong" "I love you to mum" they let go and y/n walks to the train, they hands the conductor the ticket and goes to the compartment of the train where their friends always sit. They and their mother are never good with goodbyes....maybe it has to do with all that happened... And their brother is also greeting her. It's a way they both have some time alone with their mother. They look through the window and see Alex and Zayne already inside. They smile as they open the door. "Hey guys!" The boys look up and jump up as soon as they see them. They hug them at the same time. "I thought you would never come...your never this late!" Alex let's go as he gives them a fist bump. "Yea my mother turned the wrong way and then we had to drive like 4 blocks to get on the right road again" they high five Zayne who then sits down. "It's definitely something for your mother, I'm guessing you had a calm summer" they only nods. They don't know what to say. It wasn't necessarily calm but it was definitely the best summer they have ever had. "How were your summers?" They take their bag off and sit at the seat by the window, it's their favourite place to sit. "Oh it was amazing, I got a new broom for quidditch, and we went to this muggle town in Germany where we were on holiday...and let me be honest...I love their pools...I seriously love it" Alex talks with a bunch of arm movements. He doesn't have a lot of expressions but he's definitely super excited. Zayne and y/n laugh. "It sounds like you had an amazing summer my friend, like me...I went to the biggest Magical history museum in the world with my dad and it was amazing.... And I've also got a new stargazer. It's the newest magical version! It's so amazing..me and my parents saved up for it!" Zayne smiles radiant. He takes out a picture and shows it to his friends "this is at the museum" "dang mate...that's amazing it looks so real!" Alex points to the stars. "Yea they did that with magic" y/n smiles, "I love the history of magic...especially the war parts..." "yes that's so interesting...I mean with muggles you have to have a lot of brains...but wars with magic is a next level thing." Alex grins, and Zayne nods, he puts his picture away and looks over to y/, his face is questionable when he ask: "so what did you do?" They smile: "my brother and i went ice skating...simply ice skating...and my mother and i went shopping in this new witchy store" "ice skating huh? Still not over it?" Alex elbows their side. They nod and look at him: "I'll never get over it dummie" He gets big eyes and says: "HUOHHH NEVER CALL ME DUMMIE!" "Haha dummie" Zayne points his finger at him "I said it...what you gonna do now?" "Eh...I'm not sure yet" they laugh.

"So basically what I'm saying is this muggle band is amazing...I mean their songs..it's...it's almost better then seeing Snape angry" Alex points to his picture. A few dudes are standing in a line, holding up their guitars. Zayne shakes his head. "It's horrible music...it's more screaming then actual music" "how dare you" Alex shakes his head while pointing at Zayne "you simply don't have taste...it's easy" "well if im being honest Alex...some of their songs are good but I can agree with Zayne it's more screaming then actually singing" y/n grins. He turns his head but before he can say anything the door opens. All eyes go to the person. It's the small friendly lady of the trolley. "Want anything of the trolley my dear children?" "I'd like to have 5 chocolate frogs...I still need that one new cart" Alex hands his money to the lady and takes the frogs from her. "I would like to have 2 chocolate frogs and a box of Bettie Bott's every flavour beans" Zayne smiles as he hands the money, and takes it. "Please keep the change...your doing such a wonderful job" the lady smiles "thank you, your very generous" he smiles, the lady turns to y/n and says: "and what would you like?" "Ehm...I'd like three chocolate frogs and Droobles Best Blowing Gum" she smiles, she gives it to her and y/n hands her the money "keep the change...it's a bit extra so see it as a gift from Alex." She smiles and says: "I'm thankful,...you children are so kind...have a good year!" She closes the door and Alex turns his head to them. His mouth full with a moving chocolate frog. "Baaht? I what dens Ghejc" "Alex first mouth Empty" Zayne laughs. As y/n shakes their head. Alex is very stubborn and sometimes a bit dumb. Alex nods. He quickly chews it up and says when his mouth is empty: "I forgot to give her the extra money...it's just this card...I really need it" "oh don't worry.." y/n opens one of their frogs. "I'm sure you'll buy me a drink when I forget my money" "definitely" He nods as he opens yet another frog. Y/n let's the frog on the little table. They love watching the thing crawl and jump once. They look in the box and see a card. The card, the one Alex misses...they grab it and smile: "ah..I think I have the last one..." Alex looks up "not fair! This whole summer...more then 500 frogs...and yet I don't have that card...and you...who doesn't even collect them gets it.." they giggle and wink to Zayne "I think I should just throw this useless card away..." they see how big Alex his eyes get. He tries to grab it. They pull the card away and look him in the eye, he smiles like a little boy and with big puppy eyes he begs: "oh please....may I look at it from up close....." "yea you can look at it" they hand him the card and he grabs it with two hands... like a little kid he kicks his legs with excitement. "And I thought he was 15?!" Zayne's voice is low and y/n grins "I guess not" "oh y/n...can I please keep it?! Oh please?!" They smile and say teasingly: "mhmm I'm not sure...it's just a stupid card after all" "well I don't think it's stupid...you know what...I think this card is the most amazing thing ever...ah please y/n!" "mhmm...." they say while breathing out. Alex looks with big puppy eyes. "Please?!" "Mhmm what do you think Zayne?" They ask him with a teasing smile. He looks at Alex and says thoughtful "well will he make his homework?" Alex looks at him and then back at y/n and nods: "yea I promise..I promise I swear! I truly will!" Y/n Laughs and nods. "Sure Alex..you can have it" "thank you thank you thank you!" He jumps up and twirls with the card. "Oh I'm so happy!"