Girl of my Dream's (Chris Brown Love Story)

Dream's & Nightmares

August 28th, 9:00 am

Malibu, California

It's been a month since he left me I keep replaying our whole relationship in my head the things I could've done differently. I miss him so much I feel like I have a hole in my heart I am mostly angry because no matter what I say he won't believe me I'd give up anything to go back and rewind. I love him and I hate him at the same time for hurting me.

I know I am not perfect and I haven't always made the right choices my what I did to Isis was very manipulative and so unlike me. Maybe I should call Dr. Green again I hadn't seen her in a very long time. My marriage is over Chris filed for divorce when I got the papers I feel to the floor this is real and the thought of not having him is breaking me I don't know what to do. Kelly got married and I felt bad because I couldn't even enjoy the moment because my mind was on my marriage.

Chris left and took all his things out of the house and I hadn't seen him in a month he won't talk to me or answer the phone. I've been looking and searching for him I started to show up at one of his club appearances but I decided against it. I don't want our issues to be all over the blogs that would be a nightmare for us both.

I talked to one of his cousins and he said he was somewhere in Hollywood I've tried tracking down some of the properties he owned and I came up with nothing. This is driving me crazy I haven't been able to eat or sleep this situation has even put me through so much stress I've been throwing up. Now I see how people die of broken hearts.

Since nobody would tell me where he was I decided to hire a private investigator to help me find him I received a text with an address and it was in fact in Hollywood! The drive was long from Malibu but it was worth a shot I took the long drive to the address that was given to me. Once I arrive I saw his car in the driveway I knew this is where he's been shaking up.

I rushed over to the front door I could hear music on the other end of the door he must be having a party so I opened the door. I looked around I saw his friends on the sofa and Chris on the couch playing a video game he looked up and when he saw me his eyes lit up.

But then I have seen a cold stare from him he dismissed his friends and we were finally face to face.

" what are you doing here Aliyah?" He asked.

" come back home," I said.

He put his hand over his head " Aliyah, we have to let this go we're not happy" he said.

He's right we were not happy and we hadn't been happy for a while but I can't give up on him.

" Chris, please don't do this I wanna fight for our marriage without you I've felt like the oxygen has been taken out of my body.. I wanna make this work" I said.

Chris walked over to me and held me tight " I have to let you go I don't want us to hate each other and I don't want to continue to hurt you" he said.

" I didn't fuck Will baby I swear on my life nothing happened, yes he did try to tempt me by putting that key in my purse but I choose you baby I've always chosen you!" I said crying.

Chris kissed me on the forehead I could tell he was holding back tears " to much damage has been done on both our parts.. I really want to believe you but I don't know" he said.

" I am your wife! you can trust me I've proven my loyalty over and over again and you believe Trey of all people over me" I said.

" Aliyah, I believe you but that still doesn't change anything if it didn't happen now its only a matter of time before something else came along," He said.

This cannot be happening I started to feel sick I ran to the restroom and threw up. Chris joined me in the restroom handing me a towel and a bottle of water.

" Are you okay?" he asked.

I shook my head " I'm fine, this situation has been stressful I hadn't been able to eat or keep anything down" I said.

Chris looked inquisitive " How long have you been sick?" he asked.

I took a sip of water and I tried to think " I don't know the last couple weeks its all been a blur" I said.

" what about your period?" he asked.

Then it dawned on me I was late! like over two weeks late let me not panic I've been through this before and its been false alarms.

" I'll run to the store and get a test," he said rushing out the door.

I just sat on the bathroom floor contemplating my life " Could I be pregnant?" and I ran through my mind all the scenarios. I would be happy if I were pregnant but under these circumstances, I hope I'm not. My marriage is ending and I don't want Chris to stay because he feels like he has to.

Twenty minutes later Chris came back with a test I was so nervous to take the test while we waited I looked at Chris he held my hand.

" it's time," I said.

We looked at the test together and the test read two lines.. I was pregnant.

I cried in his arms " This changes nothing.. I want you to be with me because you want to not because of the pregnancy" I said.

"Wow, a baby," he said.

It happened that last night in Vegas when he didn't pull out I just hate to bring a life in this world under these conditions.

" I'm happy, you're the one to have my child Aliyah but right now nothing changes for me we're going to raise this child the best we can but... not together," he said.

Those words were like a knife through my heart I felt my I died.. hell I wanted to die thats how heartbroken I felt right now in this moment.

" So, this is what you want?" I asked.

He shook his head " No, this is not what I want but I know it has to happen" he said.

I pulled myself together and the little dignity I had left its time to walk away forever no turning back.

" Goodbye, Chris," I said leaving I held back my tears and I have to be ready for what comes next.