Confessions Of A Teenage Party Animal (Editing.)

15 - "My God, it's embarrassing."

Lana's POV

Silence carried many emotions - it was deafening, saddening, and angering. But I never considered it comfortable. That's how I felt as I ran another red light. I didn't turn on the radio or connect my phone to my car; I just drove until I reached the edge of my so-called amazing town. My phone buzzed, which made me a little concerned, but I didn't give in because I knew deep down that it was just my family with their pathetic excuses.

It was my fault. I didn't think to push harder. I just let it come to light. I let the bucket fill up more than it could handle, and I'd pay the price. The world wouldn't stop for me, so I'd have to deal with it, like always. I would not go to my friends, I would not make anyone panic. I'd wallow in my own despair and wish myself good luck.

I hit something. It felt like my tire was slowly deflating. At that same moment, Camille started calling me. The custom ringtone I set for his contact bounced around the quiet car as I grabbed my phone and stepped out into the slightly chilly air of northern Florida to check on my tire.

"A needle?" I looked at my tire and sighed, "Who leaves a needle on the road?" I muttered as I went to the back of my car to get my car jack. My phone kept ringing until I finally answered it, "Hello? Finally! I've been calling forever. Where are you!?" He didn't seem too happy, "Out," I said as I started removing my punctured tire. "Haha, very funny. But seriously, where are you?" He said with conviction that time, "I'm out, and why do you care?" I questioned, putting my phone on speaker as I placed it on the hood of my car so I could remove my old tire, "Because everyone is worried as hell!" I raised an eyebrow as if he could see my expression, "Oh, and care to explain why 'everyone' has been talking to you?" He sighed and muttered something angrily under his breath, "Your sister called, and then Cyrus, after that, it was your cousins."

"You shouldn't have been talking to them."

"Why?" Cam seemed to be running thin on patience. My anger flared. "Because you and they aren't supposed to mix! You're meant to be for me, not for my family to question everything I've told you when they need it!" I shouted and then evolved into screaming, "It's not fair! I'll take the blame for the things I should, but I won't let them use that against me and turn you against me!" I screamed again, "They aren't out to get you, Lana. They are your family, for the love of god! They love you!" He cut me off, "And I love you! I'm not going against you. This isn't a movie. Be serious!" I felt my mouth run dry, but before I could answer my phone beeped signalling the end of the call.

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Even though I tried, the door still slammed when I closed it. "Lana?" Mom came running down the hallway. "Oh, baby! I'm so sorry!" She sobbed into my shoulder. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!" Her tears soaked my sweater thoroughly. "Where is Luca and Dad?" I asked. "Looking for you...But your friend is in your room." I felt my heart speed up. "W-what?" She shrugged and hugged me tightly before disappearing through the doorway. "What the hell?" I whispered to myself.

As I made my way to my room, I fully expected to see Ella, Wren, or maybe even Conrad. However, I couldn't allow myself to believe that Cam had been so worried that he had come over to wait for me. He didn't even know if I would come back. There was that small chance that I'd run away from my problems and go all the way to New York.

But as I turned the doorknob, all my doubts were extinguished as quickly as they had ignited. Camille was staring at my bulletin board, observing all the memories preserved on it. "Is this your attempt at geometry?" he asked me the second I got close to him. "I'm not good at math. I had a tutor until like 7th grade, and I'm pretty sure I'm like math dyslexic," I answered as he moved to the pictures. "Why'd you come?" I asked him curiously as his fingers skimmed over the picture of me at camp with my friends plus Luca, like always.

"I told you," Camille turned swiftly and stared at me so intensely I thought he had laser eyes or something. "Will you say it again?" I asked. "My God, it's embarrassing as hell," he exhausted. I smiled at him. "You convinced me to come back," I whispered. Cam snorted, "Liar, you came back because you wanted to," he accused. "I plead the fifth," I laughed, raising my right hand.

His hands moved away from my bulletin board to the cassettes, albums, and vinyl on my shelf. "Which one is your favorite?" I sighed. "I don't know... This one?" I said as I picked up the Steve Lacy vinyl. "Why?" he asked me. "I don't know, I didn't buy it, it was a gift. I like gifts," I smiled as I pulled the vinyl out of its place. "I'll note that down," he muttered before crashing down on my bed.

"Good," I nodded and laid down next to him.

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