"This." Tara mumbled under her breath as she wrapped her arms around Ambers neck and lunged forwards, connecting their lips.
Amber was a bit shocked and didn't kiss back.
"I-Im sorry." Amber croaks out, pulling away from Tara slightly.
"Is something wrong?" Tara blinks, looking at Amber worriedly.
"No, no." Amber reassures. "I mean, yes." She shifts uncomfortably. Tara looks up at her, waiting for a response. "Are you even into girls?"
"What?" Tara half laughs but stops when Amber's face remains straight, eyebrows remain furrowed, and lips pointing anywhere but up. "I-I mean, yeah.. I don't know." She replies sheepishly.
Amber exhales. "If you don't like girls, then why would you kiss me?" She asks, looking like a wounded puppy.
Tara's taken aback. She's never seen Amber like this, never seen her so upset. "No, I.. I do.. I think."
Amber's at a loss for words. "I'm sorry, Tara, but I don't want to kiss you if you aren't sure about it."
"What? You've been flirting with me all day." Tara responds, moving away from Amber slightly.
"I know." Is all that leaves Amber's mouth, as she averts her gaze to the corner of Tara's room, refusing to look at her.
"So then? Don't you want this?" Tara questions now furrowing her eyebrows as well. "It was in that bathroom."
'Fuck, the bathroom' Amber winces. "I almost forgot about that." She mumbles.
"Why would I forget? It's made me.. question myself." Tara confesses, sounding angry about the topic and also averting her gaze. "Do- do you regret it?" She then quickly looks up to Amber.
Amber doesn't answer. She just balls up her fists. She likes Tara. She always has. So, why does she feel like she shouldn't kiss her? Shouldn't trust her.
"Oh." Is all Tara says. "I see."
"No," Amber quickly replies, looking to Tara. "Uhm, I don't know."
The two girls look to each other, confused about everything.
"I think I should.. go." Amber breathes out.
Amber stands up, and it just hits Tara. "What?" Tara questions, quickly standing up as well. "No, don't go.." She grabs Amber's wrist. "Please."
"Listen, Tara-" Amber starts but gets cut off by the desperate girl that's holding her back.
"No, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you, I just thought you liked me, I won't do it again, kay? I swear. Just don't go.. again." Tara sniffles. "Last time you were avoiding me was hard enough.
Amber bites her tongue. This makes her feel horrible. "It's not that I don't like you, Tair.." She looks around, trying to find an answer. "I just- it's just- i-" She backtracks on every sentence. "It's that I like you too much."
"What?" Tara mumbles, looking up to her and loosening her grip.
"I dont.. Trust you.." The taller girl pauses. "With my heart."
And Tara almost scoffs. "You.. don't trust ..me?" She lets Amber's wrist go entirely. "Amber, you were the one that made fun of me half my life. And avoided me the other day."
Amber starts to get a bit worked up at Tara's comment and furrows her eyebrows slightly in anger. "Hey, you literally just said you 'don't know' if you like girls." She huffs. "And by the way, I had a reason to avoid you."
"Yeah, okay." Tara eventually scoffs. "So, do you like me or not?"
"It's more complicated than that." Amber rolls her eyes.
Taras eyebrows lift in amusement. "Oh, really? Because in the bathroom, you seemed to be fine. Downstairs and in the car when you were flirting with me, you seemed to have no problem. In your bed when you held me and slept, guess what? You seemed to be so ELATED!"
Amber just stands there, ignoring all eye contact that Tara tries to get out of her.
"Don't start something you can't go along with." The now annoyed girl grumbles. "Because I actually did think you liked me." She bites her tongue.
Amber glances at her once more before leaving. She can't deal with this right now. Not Tara being stubborn. Not her feelings. Not the burning sensation eating at her insides as she officially left the Carpenter residence. Knowing there's no going back into that house now. Not after Tara kissed her and basically confessed her interests in the older raven girl. But then again, Tara had forced herself upon Amber. She had kissed her and expected Amber to go along with it. Even when the younger girl didn't want to, Tara fought her on it. Using the excuse of mindless flirting.. was it mindless, though?
No.. of course, it wasn't mindless. Amber does like Tara. Infact, she might just love her. But she isn't going to wait around for the older girl to decipher her feelings. She isn't going to sit around and let Tara play with them. She's already done enought of that when they were younger. She isn't going to let it happen again. It's either, 'I like you', or, 'I don't'. No in-between.
Not again.
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Ugh, I just had to make a different turn. I can't stand the first ending..
Anyways, love us some angst.
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