A Withered Daisy

Red, Gray and Dead

I search for you only to hide away;

I long to see things I hate,

Trying so hard to have you look my way,

Just to realize it's still with her you'll stay.

I'm such a fool, ain't I?

Never even friends since then,

Yet I expected something else:

An ending to a book where I don't hold the pen.

Who's the idiot who's celebrates the greetings you made?

Who's the fool who hoped to be fixed by who broke her?

I may have turned the page,

But I'm still on the same chapter.

Why? Just answer, me! Why?

I'm not even sad,

But why do I feel like I want to cry?

The future's as gray as what you wore on the third day,

Yet why do I still waited on the "hello" you'll never say?

I keep hearing "scratching on a black board" wherever I go

While you started to ignore I was even there.

I know I'm selfish and this was my wish,

But how come you forgot I exist?

Pathetic.

We're an eyesore, 

You and I.

Not even had destinies intertwined,

I'm a fool for grieving what's never mine.

I know that.

I understand that.

I accept that.

I respect that.

I was a fool to even hope.

It didn't work yesterday, how come today will be different?

Oh, I know! It got worse with every day that took

Since our stories are in different books.

Our paths are far from each other,

Yet whenever our roads cross,

You didn't recognize I was there

While here I am, a fool to treasure those smiles we once shared.

I'm so stupid.

I can never be the gem,

Never once I could,

Yet is it hard to smile?

To you, I'm just dust, ain't I?

Very meek,

Very Weak,

Very Small,

Enough to dismiss it all.

It's hopeless.

Still, this might be what is supposed,

If I lastly wore what bled, you took what's dead.

What is the whole point anyway?

That 1% I had still needs to be thrown away.

My feelings and yours have no purpose.

We're different from them-I should now believe.

At the end, I know I'm the only one dying with remorse,

Writing these poems you'll never receive.

Worthless.

Those books we carry couldn't fall,

My purpose is far different from yours.

Perhaps your actions meant to prepare it all.

We're no longer those naïve kids, but people with responsibility and chores.

I'm too late to accept you always fixed your gaze on another sight.

Our exchanged smiles are now left in the past,

I'm now invisible to the man that kills me every night,

And I have to face our futures set on separate paths.

I should know that

I should understand that.

I should accept that.

I should respect that.