A Withered Daisy

Tattle Tale

I'm sorry.

I made you the villain when it was clearly me.

I dropped this pen for not getting an apology,

Yet showed the town how I was never worthy.

I'm sorry I despised your freedom,

Hated the day I knew from the start will come.

I was hurt over someone I have no right over,

Stabbed you in the back when I said I cared.

I told this repetitive tale until I grew bored,

"You're a villain" everyone whispered,

Oh, if they only knew...

You're just a random citizen I blamed.

I tied you to make you stay,

Hurt you then wondered why you had gone away.

You ran when I chased,

Scarred you and made it seem I was the one in pain.

I held on to a smile from a simple dream,

Then cursed them when I woke up.

I received this daisy with all its beauty,

But I let it die because it's not the tulip I wanted it to be.

Maybe you now heard and that's why I'm locked in,

It might be true, but I'm sorry I did not tell them all.

I sink in this shame for not knowing which secret should be kept,

I broke this heart all to myself.

Instead of this whisper, I screamed.

To the town, I made myself a foolish one

Just to accuse who was never mine,

Then demand the forgiveness I could never give back.

You're not the saint who forgave and bailed me out,

The one who why I used you as a getaway car

Back when I wanted a "future goodbye" from his mistranslations.

He now asks me what's my problem, I answered "it was the solution."

If only you knew of this guilt

Of when you said you're okay, I stabbed you again.

Heaven knows my sins,

I'm an enemy to my friend.

Yet I wish you'd also someday know,

Why or how, what I felt was true.

Oh, how awkward that second smile was – it's something I'll treasure

Even if only from this cage I'll be able to take a glance at you.

There was never really a you and I,

It was you and her, and everyone can see why.

Time runs out when I realized,

The damage I made cannot be undone.

You're in the heart of an amazing woman whom I also love.

Please protect her smile even if my tears would be the cost,

She's so beautiful and kind,

The forgiving one who knows you more than I could.

From afar, I wish you happiness.

Thank you that once in this chapter, you were my friend.

I regretted, so I wrote again.

I slowly accepting this flower had finally withered away.

 ----

A/N: What's up peeps! The last two lines fit so much don't they? I just wanted to share for context (the crime was metaphorical okay?), I stopped writing poems for a while because I felt like the person I was writing to does not deserve my feelings (What Now, What Next), but I was still hurt, so I tend to talk to my friends about it. However, even if I trust that they would keep it a secret, I still felt like I made him a villain in my POV just because he didn't reject me properly. He was a great guy and friend who tolerated me even if we were polar opposites. I feel so bad for making him seem like a bad guy even after we reconciled a few days ago... I also realized and became friends with his girl, and she was really admirable and kind. I regret how I had to play a victim when I was the one who almost ruined their relationship. I didn't know, yes, but I still talked about a guy who was never mine. I don't know if they know, but he doesn't talk to me anymore again. I know it's probably because we already had closure, and have nothing to say to each other anymore, but part of me is still so guilty of what I just did... I probably couldn't talk to him the way I did when we had closure, but I certainly wish him the best and all the happiness. My kindness towards his girl is really genuine, and I care for her so much.

 Me and him are now in different paths, and I have to accept that he couldn't be that other guy who became my friend again after we made up. He's not him... It just takes adjustments that what we have didn't die because of things left unsaid, it died because there's nothing to say at all anymore. 

Anyway, I hope you got the poem even without the context lol. It's been a long time since I wrote haha. I figured that rather than ranting about it, I'll just write again to keep him safe, but also express my feelings.