Spidey and the Iron Girl: Vol. 2

#12: Leverage

Collin couldn't even pretend to be interested in what the girls were talking about after she came back inside. She stared blankly at her notebook, her handwriting swimming in front of her.

"Hey," Marie said softly. "You okay?"

Collin looked up to find all of them staring at her.

"I--," her voice broke a little, so she coughed. "Uh, I'm fine, I just--."

"Did something happen with Peter?" Marie asked sympathetically. Collin stared at her. Marie was kind of crazy when it came to boys but Collin had come to really love how sensitive she was, how empathetic and understanding she could be. Things Collin had never been and, clearly, never would be.

"I think I really hurt him," Collin whispered, tears forming in her eyes again. Marie leaned forward and wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.

"Maybe if you apologize...?" She offered. Collin shook her head.

"I've hurt him too many times. I think this is permanent," A tear slipped down her face. She let Marie hug her, their other friends offering their sympathies, but as nice as it was to have their camaraderie, she was starting to feel claustrophobic. She couldn't breathe. She stood abruptly.

"I love you guys," She told the table of girls. Out of all the people she'd networked with this semester, these were her favorites. The ones she actually felt like she was friends with, despite everything she said to the contrary. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

"Are you sure--? Maybe you shouldn't be alone?" Marie called after her worriedly.

But Collin was already gone.

She walked quickly across the quad towards the gym behind the library. She wasn't even in workout gear, but she put on some boxing gloves anyway. Her dad was a lot of things-- crazy and overprotective being two of the more notable traits-- but he was also someone who found comfort in action and in being hands-on, as opposed to talking things out and being open. He was shitty at expressing himself in a way that didn't involve sarcasm to deflect the weight of what he was feeling. And she'd inherited all of that bullshit.

The physical action of her fists hitting the bag brought her relief at first. Her hands flew, focusing on her combinations until there was no room for any other thoughts. But the relief didn't last. Her eyes started to see him, his hurt brown eyes, right where her fists were supposed to land. And she couldn't. She pulled back short, her hands hovering over the Everlast logo. With a groan that tore through her, she fell forward, hugging the bag to her body as she hit her forehead against it over and over.

She was such an idiot. Had she really let a boy get in the way of her priorities, let him sneak into her heart? It didn't matter how sweet he was, or how kind, or how intelligent, or how much she really, really fucking liked him. Whether her father had come to terms with it yet or not, she was the heir to a legacy, a position of power and responsibility that was only a few years away from her reach... She wasn't about to lose it all over Peter Parker, was she?

"Fuck," She cursed, sitting down on the mat. She undid her boxing gloves and fell backwards, just laying there.

Maybe Marie was right. She should apologize to him, even if it was for the second time. What they'd had, their friendship, it hadn't just been messing around to her, either. It had felt important. Meaningful. Like they brought out and emphasized the good in each other. He was one of the only people in her life who truly understood her almost obsessive need to make herself useful. One of the only people who seemed to actually trust her ability to handle herself, believed in her. And him, with his unerring loyalty, his also nearly obsessive drive to be a hero for the people around him... She remembered he'd said she didn't need his approval, so many months ago. And that was true. But she desired it intensely, somehow even more than she craved the approval of her father. She desired his respect and admiration and trust... She couldn't just discard the bond between them, even if they couldn't be anything more to each other than friends.