off to college (alone at home)

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Set after
Keys to the Demon Prison
(No Dragonwatch)
Kendra & Seth
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Seth grapples with the loneliness left in Kendra's departure to college.

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The attic's an icebox.

It's unfathomably empty, but at the same time, Seth feels like the walls are pushing on his rib cage and squeezing his lungs.

The doll house still sits in the corner along with the telescope.

Kendra's dresser is gone. Her favorite blanket and the framed photo of the two siblings is missing.

Seth can picture the room how it used to be, though.

The blanket would be thrown across the bed, the journal would be sitting open, and Kendra would laugh as he'd tease her about reading Patton's marriage entry again.

He'd let their bicker die down and the thoughts of the day would come back. His breath would catch, and Kendra would wait for him to spill.

He would explain how today was his first school day without her. He'd explain how the quiet of the car ride and the silent attic keeps reminding him of her absence. Maybe he'd even let slip that family dinners are suffocating without her.

Every second of his life today was a painful reminder that he was alone—from the moment he woke up without hearing her in the bathroom to when he drove home from school alone.

Kendra would hug him. He knows she would. She'd squeeze the uncertainty out, his tears would fall, and she'd pull back. "I'm not abandoning you. I love you."

But none of that could happen because she's hours away at NYU, and he's alone at home.

He's alone in the suffocating attic only filled by his fears and worries. His thoughts are here too—tied up in a little bundle, weighing on his heart, because he didn't have Kendra to talk to today.

He didn't have anyone to talk to.

He's so alone.

Even though she's really only a phone call away, he can't unload any of his worries onto her—she's at college having fun. What an awful brother he'd be if he ruined that; all the guilt he would place on her shoulders with his heartfelt confession.

A knock shook the door. "Seth? Dinner's ready."

He opens his mouth to answer but is stopped by the tears in his throat. He didn't even realize he had been crying. He swallows and tries again. "Give me a second."

Give me a second to brush this puffy- eyed evidence away and walk down to the dining room with its one empty seat.

"Kendra." Seth lets out a breath. "I wish you were here."

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the end

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