A Second Chance

Chapter 46

Nicola's POV

A sign escaped his lips, blowing at my face. I looked up at him as he spoke again.

"I'm so sorry, Nicola." I heard him whisper before he opened his eyes and met mine.

He cupped my face in his palm, looking at me with regret in his eyes.

"The fact that you are hesitating for so long is proof enough how much I have hurt you, and I am so very sorry. But I promise you, Nicola, hurting you has never been my intention." He said while his eyes pleaded with me to understand.

"I never meant to hurt you. I was just... stupid, so very stupid. Please say you believe me." He said, searching my face nervously.

"I...I do believe you.." I whispered. Ofcause I believe him. I have known him my entire life, so I know he would never purposely hurt me.

The choices he made in life had been for his own happiness. He had a right to that. He had made no promises to me, so ofcause I knew he hadn't been trying to hurt me by choosing Sarah. The thought had never occurred to me even. I knew he had a good heart, and he wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose.

But yes, he had been stupid. Very stupid. Very, very stupid, I thought with annoyance. I mean, he married Sarah because he had been infatuated by her beauty and didn't even realize it when the girl he loved slipped through his fingers. Because I was no beauty? He was an idiot.

I can't really be mad at him for a decision he had made six years ago, but the truth still remains that he hadn't planned on accepting me even after he realized that he loved me. Isn't it?

"Gabriel, you didn't even want to come back, remember. You didn't want me even now." I told him accusingly, removing his hands from my face. "Why is it still so complicated. And why now?" I asked, moving away from him. "You said you only came because you thought I was getting engaged to someone else. Not because you wanted to be with me. So why are you telling me all this. Did you change your mind after you came here or something?"

"No! Please, Nicola. It's not that at all. I do want you!" He said, grabbing my hand and holding it to his chest. Moving forward to close the distance I put between us. 

"I love you so much, Nicola. You have no idea.  And all these years without you... I felt empty, even when I had everything I felt empty.

"I can't imagine my life with anyone else but you, Nicola. I can't live without you. I feel so empty... Nothing and no one else can ever complete me. It's only you... I feel so much peace whenever I am with you. Without you, I'm in a constant battle. Especially these couple of months."

"I'm sorry I stayed away for so long." He said, as he raised a hand to carass my cheek. "It wasn't because I had any doubt about how much I loved you. But being in love with my late wife's sister...." he removed his hand from my cheeks to hold my hand again. He stood there looking down at our entwined hands.

He didn't say anything else, but I understood. After all, I did have the same doubts myself.

"Sarah.." her name slipped from my lips as doubts formed in my mind again. Gabriel had said she had known how we felt about each other. How did he know? Had she told him? Oh God! I pulled my hands away and covered my face appalled, just thinking of how she must have felt thinking that Gabriel loved me.

Another sigh escaped his lips as he understood my train of thoughts
" Sarah was my first wife. And I can never regret marrying her. She gave me Livy and Bella. They are my life, and I can not imagine a life without them. And Sarah will always have a special place, my heart.

You and I, we didn't choose to fall in love with each other. We just are. I have felt the guilt. I lived with it, and it killed me. But my family has been trying to make me understand that I had been a good husband to her when she was alive. I did try to give her all the happiness that I possibly could. And even after her death, I have stayed respectful and loyal to her memories." He said, pulling my hands away from my face. "It wasn't her that I had hurt. It was you.