MOTH TO A FLAME ☆ CARLOS SAINZ JR

xvi. carlos

MADRID, SPAIN
MARCH 2023

song of the chapter
i almost do - taylor swift

I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't; I almost do

     Carlos sat on the edge of his couch, his phone clutched tightly in his hand as he debated whether or not to make the call. His heart raced with uncertainty, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. But as he stared at his phone, the weight of his current reality bore down on him like a heavy burden. His relationship with Isa was hanging by a thread—if you could even say that—their arguments growing more frequent and more heated with each passing day.

Yet, amidst the chaos of their dwindling relationship, another name lingered in his mind.

Sofía.

The mere thought of her brought a sense of calm to his troubled heart, a reminder of the love and warmth they shared together in this same space. In the silence of his room, the memories of happier times with his ex-girlfriend flooded Carlos's mind, a stark contrast to the turmoil of their present situation. He recalled the laughter they shared, the late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning, and the warmth of her embrace.

But now, those memories seemed distant, overshadowed by the bitterness and resentment that had seeped into their relationship. Their once passionate love had devolved into a constant battle of wills, each argument more explosive than the last. Kind of like it was with Isa now.

How had both of his last relationships unraveled and fallen apart so quickly before him?

As he sat there, lost in thought, Carlos couldn't help but wonder how he had reached this point yet again with Isa. Where had he gone wrong? Had she found out that he had seen Sofía at New Years? The questions swirled in his mind, taunting him with their elusive answers.

Just moments ago, they had gotten into yet another heated exchange, their words like daggers cutting through the fragile fabric of their already fragile relationship. And now, as Carlos sat alone in the silence of his room, he couldn't help but wonder if this truly was the end.

Carlos had stood in the middle of his living room, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he faced Isa. The tension between them was palpable, a thick fog of anger and frustration that hung heavy in the air. She had come home to find him rifling through one of the old boxes in the back of his closet, one that she knew all too well held all the belongings of his previous relationship.

The blonde woman had been having her own suspicions lately that Carlos had never really gotten over Sofía, and his behaviors as of late had only solidified that truth for her. And she just couldn't live with it any longer.

"I can't do this anymore, Carlos," Isa sighs with frustration, her eyes tired as she looks at him. "I'm tired of the constant fighting, the endless arguments. It's like we're stuck in a never-ending cycle of misery."

Carlos felt a surge of frustration rise within him, his temper flaring as he struggled to contain his emotions. "So what, are you just going to give up and leave?"

He had already been in a bad mood for the past few weeks, he had thought that when he called Sofía after their little...accident, that it would clear things up for him. That she would say she regretted all of it; but she hadn't. Her lack of an answer was answer enough for him; she was scared of the fact that she didn't regret it.