"Not hungry?" mom asks as we sit at the dinner table. Dad looks on as I twirl the spaghetti pomodoro around my fork.
"Just tired, that's all," I assure her. Between the Jimmy and Brooks drama, work, and my personal life, I'm exhausted.
"Honey," dad speaks up, reaching for my hand. "Are you okay?"
I sit up, trying to compose myself, and plaster on a fake smile. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Lately, you seem...not yourself," dad treads, and even though I agree with him, I argue against it.
"I'm fine," I tell him. "Just life, that's all."
"Okay," he relents before changing the subject. "I've been meaning to tell you, I have a second-round interview at this tech company on Monday."
"That's great, dad!" I sincerely exclaim, reaching for his hand. The hope in his eyes makes me want to have hope for him. "I'm really proud of you."
"Thank you, sweetheart."
Knowing that I won't be much fun tonight, I push my chair out and look at my parents. "Mind if I head upstairs?"
They gaze at each other, and I can tell that they're concerned. "Sure," dad says, and mom just fake smiles.
Once I make it to my room, I slip my PJs on and get into bed. I realize that I never answered Bella's last text, so I grab my phone from the charger and respond to her question about how Clay's party was.
Right after I hit 'send', there's a knock on my door, and a "sweetheart, can I come in?"
"Yeah," I loudly say, and in walks dad.
"I don't mean to bother you," he says, taking slow steps towards me. "I know that you're tired, but can I sit down for a few minutes?"
"Of course," I say, flattening out the covers and patting the space on my side.
He sits down next to me then releases a deep breath, and I can tell that he's going through a lot mentally. The last few months have been rough on him. He lost his job of 10 years, and I know the pressure that he puts on himself to provide for the family.
He takes my hand in his and looks at me with sorrow. "I'm sorry," he says, and it breaks my heart that he's apologizing.
"For what, dad?"
He looks down at the covers and shakes his head. "For failing you and your mother."
I inch my body off the headboard and dip my head down to look at him. "Dad, don't say that. You didn't fail us."
He looks up at me, his brown eyes watery. "But I did. Instead of getting to enjoy your summer, you work all week. And your mother's had to take on extra shifts while I scramble for a job."
"That's not your fault, dad. This happens. People lose their jobs. You can't be so hard on yourself. Mom and I are more than grateful for the life that you've provided us with so far. It's okay for us to step up now and take some of the load off your plate."
"Yeah, but I don't want either of you two to have to. Sweetheart, I know how hard this change has been on you. You've had to take on more responsibilities, adjust your life accordingly."
"But it's good for me. I'm learning a lot."
"But you're also young. I want you to be able to experience the life that you want for yourself."
"And I will. Like you said, dad, I'm young. There's still time for me to experience things."
He smirks at me. "You're not going to let me win, are you?" He clutches my chin in his hand and looks at me with endearment. "My baby girl, not a baby anymore, yet just as persistent and strong as she was the day she was born."
"I was always a little too sassy, wasn't I?"
"Nope, not 'too'. The perfect amount, actually."
"I love you dad," I tell him.
"I love you more, Remi."
After our heart-to-heart, my dad leaves the room and I reach for my journal. I've been writing a lot lately. About life. About my feelings. And it's been extremely therapeutic and necessary.
I tend to bottle a lot in when it comes to confiding in people, and I think that's because I want to seem like I always have it figured out. I don't want to feel like I have to rely on someone to solve my problems for me.
But deep down, I'm hurting. My dad losing his job has been difficult for me to deal with. And with things changing, I feel like I've put more pressure on myself to help my family.
I've never been one to compare myself to other people, but sometimes, I look at Bella and she seems to have it all figured out. She's in a serious relationship, she loves what she's learning at college, she's passionate about opening her own bakery when she graduates, and she's currently traveling the globe.
Me? I'm nowhere near any of those things.
And it sucks. It really sucks.
YOU ARE READING
Under the Stars (Sequel to Across the Pond)
Romance*The sequel to Across the Pond* Brooks Caldwell is the bane of my existence. Has been ever since I've known him. And, of course, luck would have it that I'm forced to spend my entire summer in his presence when I'm offered a job at the posh country...
