Under the Stars (Sequel to Across the Pond)

Chapter 20

I won't cry. I won't. I can't. Brooks Caldwell will not be the reason for my tears.

I should've seen this coming, and I'm mad at myself for thinking that it wouldn't; for thinking that Brooks could be this person that he realistically can't. He doesn't know how to commit, nor do I think he cares to. Yet here I was thinking that I could be the girl to change him. I'm sure that's what every girl who Brooks gives 5 minutes of attention to thinks. That she can change him.

Mom and I are having a girls' day, which hasn't happened in months. Work called her this morning and told her that they accidentally double-booked her shift and didn't need her coming in. 

We just finished lunch at Sweets, though, mom didn't eat much. She hasn't had much of an appetite lately and I think that's due to all the stress she's feeling. She did, however, devour the complimentary fudge brownie that the owner Wendy treated us to, which is no surprise considering that they're the best brownies in town. 

The entire time at lunch, mom kept saying how she wants to buy me something special, but I told her that it's not necessary. It's not necessary when that money could go to something else that's more important. Like I said, times in the Baker household are rough, and I don't want to take if I don't have to.

"Let's go in here," mom says when we pass by the window shop of the clothing store To Infinity. They sell mostly casual stuff, but sometimes their clothing can be overpriced.

I follow my mom inside, but refrain from looking, which is so hard for me to do considering I love to shop. I force my eyes to look at anything but the clothing racks, but that doesn't really matter because within minutes, mom has a bunch of tops and dresses piled up in her hold.

"What do you think of this one?" mom asks, raising a strapless dress in the air.  

"Where am I wearing that to, mom?"

"As if you ever needed a reason, honey," she winks at me.

Before I know it, mom's shoving me into a fitting room and purchasing me not one but two articles of clothing – the strapless dress and a button down long-sleeve top that she thinks I need to own for more formal occasions. I don't know where she thinks I'm going that's formal...

The total for everything comes out to a little over 100 dollars, and I feel guilty when mom uses her own credit card to purchase the items. 

She holds out the shopping bag for me to take and I smile at her. "Thank you, mom. This really wasn't necessary, and I rather you spend your money on yourself and other things, but I love you. This means a lot."

"Wear it in good health, honey," she tells me.

We're strolling on the sidewalk, making our way to the car, when I notice Brooks and crew sitting at an outdoor restaurant having lunch and laughing. I turn my head to the side when we pass them in the hopes that he doesn't see me.

It's been a week since the night at The Dive – a week without talking to Brooks. I did see him at Meadows, but any chance I could, I kept my distance. He made that a little hard to do when he came to the fitness center, but I kept it professional and treated him as I did any other member.

There were a few times where he tried to approach me, but he knew that I wasn't having it. If he wants my attention, then he can start with an apology.

The thing is, even with an apology, things can't change between me and Brooks. Brooks showed his true colors the night of The Dive. The kiss was clearly a mistake; maybe not in the moment, but now looking back at it, it was. I just couldn't help it. He was standing right there, and I felt it. I felt this inexplicable connection pulling me towards him, drawing me in. What was I supposed to do? Ignore it? Maybe, but the spark was so intense that I don't think I could've even if I wanted to.