𝖯𝖺𝗉𝖾𝗋 𝖱𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌

twenty-four | nevaeh is my light

twenty-four | nevaeh is my light

NEVAEH STOLLY

Agreeing to fake date Zaiah was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I've got the experience things I'll probably never would if it wasn't for him. Going into a club, skipping classes, dancing in the rain, having a food fight, riding a motorcycle, and falling in love.

Yes, I would have fallen in love with someone at some point but not the way I fall in love with him. It was unexpected, it was silly and beautiful. Maybe even destiny. I've known him since we were kids. My mom always told me stories about this beautiful boy who was too shy to tell her when she wanted something. And now, this beautiful boy was my boyfriend. Mine.

I'm overwhelmed by the emotions. I'm happy, I'm scared, I'm in love, I'm tired, I'm anxious. I'm so many things including Zaiah's girlfriend.

Girlfriend. As in his lover. As in his partner. I'm his.

"If that makes you feel better, this is also my first relationship ever." My boyfriend's voice gets me out of my thoughts. Boyfriend.

"I thought you had other relationships," I said, confused. After all, he was indeed called a player so I was thinking he had other relationships.

"Flirting doesn't count, Neve." He smiles at me. Not smirking. Not in a flirting "let's fuck already" kind of way. Just purely, simply smiling. A smile I really start to love right now.

"Oh, it's good to know that 'cause I'm freaking out right now." I let out a nervous laugh and Zaiah interlocks our fingers.

"Calm down, Neve. Nothing changed. We are still us. So just be yourself. Don't overthink it. Do whatever you want."

"Well, I really need some pancakes right now."

"Well, good thing this fast food sells them." We were in fast food right now. We just entered the first building we saw. After his revenge on his father and the totally romantic love confession we just left. We, of course, asked Tam and Carl if they wanted to come but they stayed for the free food and drinks. Can't blame them.

The waitress took our orders. Mine was obviously European pancakes with Nutella and Zaiah got himself a burger.

"My dad would love to see me this happy." This thought should have stayed inside my head but my mouth didn't think the same.

"You've never mentioned him."

"Oh, yeah. He killed himself after his mother's funeral. I was the one that found him." I say it without crying. I cried enough about it. Month after month, year after year until it's stopped making me cry. It still hurts. A lot. But I got used to it. And I don't ever want that pain to go away. It's the only connection I have with my father.

"Oh, Neve. Are you okay?" Zaiah whispered as he got close to me. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He squeezed my hand to show me he's there for me. Truly here.

"Don't worry. I'm fine. I've had a lot of time to get better." I give him a hint of a smile. "You've got your own problems, anyway. I don't wanna burden you with mine."

"Nevaeh, just because I've been through something different than you, that doesn't mean you don't deserve to talk about your own pain. Your problems don't disappear just because someone else had a different trauma, ok?"