I lay on my bed that night, the pain of her happiness with another guy still fresh in my mind.
I knew that she was to be mine, but how.
I had refused food from my mother, and ignored the constant calls from James.
In my pain I must have drifted off to sleep, because within seconds the world became black.
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I saw him, his smile as bright as day, his eyes filled with compassion. He stepped forward, slipping his arms around me. I felt his warm breath slipping around my cheeks. who was he?
I saw his face swoop down, the feeling of dread filling my thoughts. I placed my plans against his strong muscly chest and pushed with all my might.
He snickered playfully, pushing harder. I twisted my head to the side, not allowing him to have the pleasure of kissing me. his hands slipped up my torso, crumpling the material higher around my chest. He pulled me closer, rubbing his hands along my exposed skin.
"Stop!" I cried in a hopeful plead.
"You know you love this...." he muttered lifting one hand to turn my face to his.
He shoved his face forward pressing his smooth, warm lips against mine, his eyes were only filled with lust now. He wanted me, when I did not even know him. My lips moved with his, this was definitely a guilty pleasure.
I parted our lips for just a moment to say:
"Stop, I have a boyfriend." But my sentence finished with a low moan escaping my lips.
"It seems like you want a new one." He smiled bitterly, "why is that, does he not make you happy the way that I will."
He pressed his face back to mine before I could reply. This time he pushed his tongue at full force into my mouth, wrapping it around mine, snaking it into the deepest corners of my mouth. Another loud moan escaped my lips, and another one escaped from his.
I felt my hands slide up his sides, feeling every muscle on his torso. So firm, so perfect. I felt myself lifting his shirt, the movement so easy and familiar. had we done this before?
My mind went in to overdrive, I registered what I was doing, and instead of removing his shirt all the way, I pressed my hands hard against his pecks, shoving him backwards, at the same time, kneeing him in the thigh just missing my target.
I ran from the room, sprinting downstairs, where was I?
I saw a familiar image on the wall that contained my parents and I, smiling and happy. This was my house...
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I woke with a start, sweat seeping down my face, my head throbbing. That was me, the guy forcing someone to do something that didn't want. That was me.
But if that was me, who was the other person, and why was my dream from her perspective.
I looked over at the clock beside my bed, it was 10:00am. I had slept in for so long.
Whoever it was, wherever we were, why was I doing that, and why was I in her house if she had a boyfriend, and she didn't know me.
I breathed a few heavy sighs and ran my hand through my hair. I couldn't imagine myself ever doing something like that.
