Memories Of The Past

Prologue

Content Warning: This story contains themes of sexual assault, self-harm, and other sensitive topics. Reader discretion is advised, especially for minor readers. If these subjects are triggering or upsetting, it's recommended to stop reading the content, thank you.

----------------------------------

In the quiet confines of our dining room, a question lingered in the air, shrouded in curiosity and a hint of apprehension. Sensing an opportunity, I gathered the courage to break the silence.

"Mom, may I ask you something?" My voice quivered slightly, betraying the intensity of my curiosity. All eyes turned toward me, awaiting the inquiry that hung in the air.

"Yes, sweetheart? What's on your mind?" Mom responded, her warm eyes inviting me to share my thoughts.

"Do you remember a person named Spencer?" I hesitated, unsure of what response I would receive.

The question seemed to cast a spell over the room. A momentary pause ensued, during which glances were exchanged between my parents and my sister Skye. It was as if I had unraveled a thread from the tapestry of their past, a thread they hadn't revisited in a long while.

"Bakit mo natanong 'yan, Snow?" Dad's gaze fixed on me, a mix of curiosity and caution in his eyes.

I took a deep breath, searching for the right words. "I've been having these dreams, and Spencer is always in them. It feels like I'm living in a different time, in the 1990s. I was wondering if it has any connection to someone you might have known."

A palpable tension hung in the air as my family exchanged glances. Finally, Mom broke the silence.

"Spencer was a dear friend of ours back then," she began, her tone carrying a hint of nostalgia. "But we lost touch when he migrated to the US after our college graduation."

A rush of emotions flooded my senses. The fragments of my dreams seemed to align with the reality they were unveiling. The room echoed with a mixture of surprise and intrigue.

"Spencer, I remember that guy. After our graduation, he got married quite early. I heard he became a general manager at a hotel in the US," added Dad, his memory painting a picture of a life lived beyond our shared past.

My mind swirled with questions, and an inexplicable connection to Spencer began to crystallize. The pieces of a puzzle fell into place, and the urge to uncover the full picture intensified.

"Snow, why do you ask about Spencer?" Mom's eyes bore into mine, sensing that there was more behind my inquiry.

"I don't know, Mom. It just feels like there's something more to these dreams, something I need to understand," I confessed, my heart yearning for answers buried in the recesses of time.

As the revelations unfolded, I couldn't shake the feeling that my dreams held a key to a past intertwined with Spencer's, a past waiting to be unraveled.

My mom is getting ready for her shoot in Pasay, reading her script while eating her breakfast, I just remained silent and stopped asking questions because the tension is quite heavy for us, after minutes of silence my mom decided to break it again.

"By the way anak, kuhanin mo yung bag ko sa kwarto namin ng daddy mo dahil by 8 aalis na ko para sa shoot." Utos ni mommy.

"Bakit si Snow pa pwede namang si Rita nalang ang utusan mo." Sambit ni lolo. "No lolo it's fine." Sambit ko at tumayo sa kinauupuan at umakyat sa kwarto nila mom, pumunta ako sa walk in closet nila at kinuha ko ang bag ni mommy na palagi nyang dinadala kapag may shoot sya, saktong pag hila ko sa bag ay isang shoe box ang nahulog at mga developed pictures ang nahulog sa sahig, inilapag ko muna ang bag sa sahig para maayos ko ang box at ibalik ito sa aparador.

Ibabalik ko na sana ang mga pictures sa box pero nang makita ko ang nilalaman ng isang litratong hawak ko ay napatigil nalang ako at napatakip ako ng bibig nang dahil sa gulat, my heart shattered into million sharp pieces and it pierced my body and my stomach, I just cried suddenly but I still cannot understand myself why I am being like this, but I felt so lonely and downhearted because even if my heart shattered into pieces, it also pierced my whole soul and my whole existence.  

Ang nilalaman ng litrato na to ay isang babaeng kamukhang kamukha ko and the boy who always appear in my dream, si Spencer. They are giving each other a big smile while holding each other's hands and they were in an island while their showing their love for each other, napaupo na lamang ako sa sahig at tuluyan akong nanghina sa nakikita at napa iyak nalang ako habang pinagmamasdan ang kupas na litrato.

"Sino ka ba at bakit ganito ang nangyayari sakin?" I asked myself while being unable to control myself and my feelings, at this time I feel so miserable and cursed because I feel that he's been really away from me, for so many years, hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko dahil nakakaramdam ako ng matinding lumbay at lungkot nang makita ko ang picture na to, ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit ng puso ko pero hindi ko alam kung bakit nasasaktan ako sa kung anong dahilan, pakiramdam ko minahal ko ng totoo ang lalaking ito pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko sya nakasama o nakita man lang sa personal.

I hugged the picture near my heart and just let myself cry out because I was unable to control my feelings and my emotions, the loneliness I am feeling right now was way more intense and I never felt like this in my whole existence, I was unable to do anything but to feel the sharp pain in my heart and in my soul, but I suddenly just forget what is happening in my world and let myself feel the pain of the past, but suddenly I heard Spencer's voice calling my name in a tone of desperation and I heard him cry so loud.

"Sino ka ba Spencer? Bakit ako nasasaktan? And why are you doing this to me?" Paulit ulit kong tanong sa sarili.