In the dangerous underworld of South Korea's organized crime, there is no room for hesitation or doubt. But when a top assassin for Busan's infamous Kim mafia is tasked with infiltrating a gang in Seoul, Park Jimin lines between loyalty and betrayal...
What was your favorite scene or moment? Did anything surprise you or catch you off guard?
What did you guys think of Taehyung? I personally find him very complicated so I'm curious how he reads. Do you see him as an abuser or a victim or something in between?
Do you think healing has to happen in tandem with forgiveness or can someone heal from their trauma without having to forgive their abuser in order to do it? Jimin forgave Taehyung because he saw him as a victim but I don't think he'll ever forgive Busan or The Kim Don yet I still see his healing as complete. But what do you think?
If you were a character in a classic mafia AU, what role would you want to have?
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Hello!! You got to the end!!
Process
This fic was just as nerve wracking to publish as when I published Blue Collar Cuffin.' I remember when I posted BCC it was so stressful because the fic was a re-publish. This one obviously isn't a re-publish, but it was fully written before it got published and it's meaty so it made me nervous about whether or not it would be engaging.
The writing process for this story was an absolute whirlwind. It's funny because I started it off knowing I wanted Jungkook to be the mafia boss and Jimin to be doing something where he had to infiltrate the gang to gain Jungkook's trust, but the story really took the reigns from me once I started writing.
The fic's first scene that I came up with was actually The Gala where Jimin figures out that something was up with the wine and then show his hand by telling Jungkook about it. Originally, the gala was supposed to be one of the very first chapters in the fic and was meant to tip Jungkook off that Jimin was more skilled then he was letting on. It was going to be a bit more cat-and-mouse, but when I started writing and the theme of the story started to unravel, the gala scene got further and further away and so did that dynamic. The Gala ended up being the climax instead! Funny how stories write themselves sometimes.
The thing I really wanted to play with for this story was making it 'short.' Sort of AO3 style where you have these long chapters but the over-all chapter amount remains relatively small. If it felt like 'oh wow that's a lot of time jumps,' then that's why; I wanted to really focus on making a concise story this time around. My goal going into it was twelve chapters, each around 3000-4000 words. Ended up with thirteen but hey that's not too far from the mark.
Second thing that made this super interesting to work on is the fact that I had the full thing done before I published it. Every other time I've ever said that in a fic, I meant I had it 98% done. Usually, I have everything expect for the last couple chapters finished when I start publishing fics - though they usually have way more chapters. This one though was fully edited and fully completed before the first chapter went out. Even this end-note was done. I've gotten used to the low-stress format where I publish as I go, so it was so weird to just be like: 'here, read this first chapter and if you don't like it then I'm a little fucked because we're already going this direction and there's no changing it now.'
The fic got written in like three chunks and it was funny because I fucking love mafia stories, so I really wanted to do it justice - which meant a lot of of editing. The first four chapters got written then entirely re-written. Same thing happened with the next four chunks and then the gala chapters just looked insane in my notes app:
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Anyway, I really hope you had some fun reading this and that you resonated with parts of it! It was a really fun writing challenge for me; obviously it's just a fic, but creatively it was so rewarding and it's jikook which made it even better.
If you commented, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really was scared shitless publishing this because I love mafia stories. Especially with this fic, more than any other story I've ever written, thank you for taking the time to do that. <3
The Message
So, this segment is where I talk a little bit about why I chose this theme for the fic. If you've read Bite Me or Thick as Thieves, you're used to this little insight part where I get too personal for a fan-fic author lmao.
I'm not sure how it reads, if Jimin's inner conflict gets old, but for me it was really rewarding to write. The role of Taehyung in this and his relationship to Jimin was to explore how having new experiences can change your perspective on past events in your life. I think that's a really hard part of growing up. Not the new obstacles but gaining new lenses on old ones. Taehyung and Jimin start off with an argument, but Jimin did genuinely believe that there wasn't much wrong with their relationship when we meet him. It wasn't until he lived with Jungkook and The Jeons did he start questioning how bad his life in Busan was. If it wasn't for Jungkook, I don't think he ever would have realized he had been mistreated.
I recently had something click for myself about a past event in my life that I'd never questioned before. Something I'd just accepted as is and thought was small or insignificant. I shared it like it was a funny story because I genuinely thought it was one. It wasn't until I shared the story with a new friend did I realize that the event was, in fact, really strange. I know it's not a universal experience, but I wanted to show someone gain that new lens on their past and demonstrate how hard that can be to internalize. That a part of your past was, in fact, hurting you and you didn't have the context or life-experience at the time to realize it. I think that can be really challenging and it does come with a lot of internal conflict and turmoil.
As always, a much too deep analysis for a trashy mafia fic, but I hope that anyone who may have gone through something similar resonated with the story at least a little bit. And anyone who hasn't, that you at least enjoyed the ride! Plus, it's always just fun to read about BTS.
For whoever ended up giving this fic a chance and sticking with it all the way to the end, thank you <3. Even if there's only one of you, it still means the world.
I'll see you in the next story, whenever that may be,
